Alan and Tara's Day in the City
by cheri1
Summary: Companion piece to my Something Old, Something New series. Alan and Tara, free from the Doctor and Rose, go out for a day in the city and live it up together. FINISHED.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a little short story based on the characters from my Something Old, Something New series. Just a little bit of silliness with Alan and Tara.

Chapter One

"Now be a good girl," the Doctor said, bending over to look his thirteen year old daughter Tara in the eyes. "I don't wanna have to come bail you out of jail because you and your uncle went a bit too wild during your bonding time."

"We'll behave, Daddy."

The Doctor snorted.

"Believe that when I see it," he muttered.

He turned to his brother who was behind him, an innocent look on his face.

"And you, you miscreant, no destroying large structures and scaring people."

"Oui, mon Capitan," Alan said, saluting. "I shall do my upmost not to destroy things or frighten small children."

"Somehow, I have a feeling I'll have to come and break you two out of prison. But in the meantime, have fun."

He kissed Tara and patted her back before she walked over to Alan. Alan crooked his arm.

"Milady?" he said.

Tara threaded her arm through his and they walked through the living room into the garage where his TARDIS was waiting. The moment Alan closed the door, he lightly shoved Tara.

"Last one to Daisy is soddin' flippin' crazy!" he yelled.

Tara ran after him, laughing. Alan quickly unlocked his TARDIS and pushed her away when she tried to get inside after him.

"Pay the toll," he said, leaning his head out the door and looking at her as he held his hand out.

Tara mimed giving him money. Alan looked at the imaginary money in his hand.

"Sorry, don't accept Canadian money," he said.

"Let me in, you dork!" Tara said, laughing.

"Oh, if I must," Alan said with a mock sigh.

Giggling, he flounced over to his console while Tara came inside and slammed the door shut. Alan stared at her with bulging eyes.

"Did I say you could do that?"

"No, but I did it just the same!"

She laughed when Alan's mouth fell open.

"Upstaging me in my own TARDIS, forty lashes with a wet noodle for you, young lady."

Tara bent down and mooned him.

"Give it to me right here," she said, pointing.

She laughed when Alan sprinted over and mimed kicking her. He walked back to his console and adopted a haughty pose.

"Now…I know how to fly this, unlike you, so where you wanna go?"

"HELL!"

Tara laughed when Alan gave her a long, hard stare.

"Okay, go out the door and go across the street. Hell is over there and Satan has lizard skin and blonde hair!"

"Ooo, I'm gonna tell Rose you said that."

"Yeah? Well go ahead and do it, Poober Goober, I'm not afraid of Jackie "crusty skin" Tyler!"

"Yes, you are, you pee when you see her!"

"No, I'm afraid you're confusing me with my brother again. You must learn not to do that."

"Ooo, I'm gonna tell Daddy you said that."

"Yeah, well go ahead and do it, Mungly Dungly, I'm not afraid of The "I have no first name" Doctor! Now, Vanilla Spice Paddy Foot, where you wanna go?"

He grinned when Tara giggled insanely.

"I wanna go to the nicest place in the whoooooole universe!" she said when she recovered enough to speak.

"But…we're already in my TARDIS."

"Okay, take us to the creepiest insane asylum in the world, with lots of monsters and drooling crazy people."

"I just said, Jackie's house is across the street."

He snorted out laugher and ducked when she hit his head.

"I wanna go…see…Smurfs!" Tara said.

Alan's eyes bulged and he bent down and put his nose against Tara's while she giggled.

"Got a news flash for ya. They don't exist!" he said in a melodramatic hushed voice.

"Then take me to a place where I can get a bazillion foot high stuffed smurf that I can put in my room and show off to people."

"How are you going to fit the bazillion foot high stuffed smurf in your bedroom?"

"My bedroom's bigger on the inside!" Tara said.

"Uh…no, it's not," Alan said.

"Is too."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"PANTYLINERS!"

Tara gave him an odd look.

"What?" she said.

"Ah, that's better, stopped that pointless back and forth dead in its tracks. And now, to fun time!"

He hummed the theme to Mission Impossible while he input some coordinates into the computer.

"Where are we going?" Tara asked.

"Somewhere where eventually you'll get in trouble and your dear old daddikins will have to save you!" he said, staring at her with bulging eyes.

"No, he'll have to save you!"

"Nonsense, I'm insavable."

He powered up and the rotor came to life. He stared at Tara with wide eyes while he pointed to the oscillating rotor.

"This means we're in motion," he whispered conspiratorially.

"Noooooo, really? I never would have guessed that, Dork Butt!"

Alan stared at her while she giggled.

"You know, I don't know if you know this, but your eyes cross when you say mean things," he said.

Tara stuck her tongue out at him and laughed when Alan tried to grab it.

"Your auntie does the same thing and I keep trying to push it back in her mouth, but with you, I'll pull it right out and cook it up and serve it to your daddikins."

"Then he'll kill you!" Tara said.

"Eh, I'm tired of looking like him anyway!" he said shrugging.

The TARDIS stopped and powered down. Alan looked at Tara with wide eyes.

"Hear that, means we're not moving anymore," he whispered melodramatically.

"Nooooooooo, really, I didn't know that!"

"There they go again, your eyes just crossed," he said as Tara giggled.

He flounced over to the door with Tara following behind. He spun around and blocked the door as she ran up.

"Be vewy vewy quite, we're hunting monsters, eeeeeeeeeeh," he said, imitating Elmer Fudd.

"Just open the door and go out, Dumb Butt."

Alan stared at her for a moment and then with a flourish, threw open the doors and sprinted out.

"I'M…NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!" he yelled in a sing-song voice.

Tara bent over laughing when a couple of passerby stopped short and peered into the alley the TARDIS was resting in. Alan waved at them.

"Hooooowdy," he said.

They shook their heads and went on.

"Oi, don't shake your heads at me! I'm most likely superior to you!"

He heard a door slam and spun around in a cartoonish manner. His eyes goggled as he stared at Tara who had slammed the TARDIS door.

"Boo," Tara said.

"Hoo?" Alan replied. "Which is what you're gonna be saying when I spank your rear end appendage for slamming Daisy's doors."

"Yeah, try and catch…"

She yelled when Alan sprinted over before she could finish her sentence.

"Whatzat?" he said, tickling her armpits while she struggled to get away. "Whazat you say? Sounds like you were challenging me to a race and I won, huh, is that it? Huh? Huh?"

He jumped back when Tara tried to step on his foot. By now there were a few more people peering in the alley, giving them odd looks. Alan smacked his hands onto his hips and gave them the same look until they left. He then turned around stiffly and stared at Tara the same way. Tara repeated the gesture and squealed with laughter as Alan gave chase.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" he yelled as he chased her down the alley.

Tara reached the pavement and stepped aside as Alan came out.

"ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-TAH!" he said, imitating squealing breaks.

He threw his arms open wide.

"HERE I AM, RANDOM PLACE, YOUR GOD, WORSHIP ME!"

Tara bent over laughing when a few people across the street gave him odd looks. Alan waved at them cheerfully.

"I bet you didn't know I was your god, huh?" he said to them.

"Uncle Alaaaan," Tara said running over as the people hurried away from them.

"Niece Taraaaaaa," Alan said, imitating her voice.

He grinned.

"Why do you have to act that way, Alan?" he said with Rose's voice. "You're embarrassing me, grow up and act your age."

"Well, she's right."

Alan put his nose against hers.

"Got news for Blondie Boo Boos, I'm two years old so I am acting my age!"

He leaned back up and imitated the Doctor.

"Now Tara," he said in a serious manner as he wagged his finger at her. "You must behave because you are a Time Lady-in-training and you need to be responsible. And by the way I am also brilliant and cute to boot, just had to add that. But anyway, no funny business, you are representing me when you're out and about."

He grinned when Tara giggled.

"But guess what, my little conspirator when it comes to mirth and fun? The Dour Sours aren't around today to rain on our parades! It's just you and me and a great big old world we can go wild in! Sound good?"

"Yeah," Tara said with an evil grin.

"I like your moxie, kid, you'll go places with that attitude," he said, pointing to her.

He let out an over exaggerated gasp and squeed.

"I know!" he said, putting his hands on Tara's shoulders. "I have that magic wallet that dispenses ready cash and tons of it. Let's go hire a car and go for a spin around this city, see what we can do to make ourselves public nuisances. How 'bout it?"

"Yeah!" Tara said eagerly.

Alan stared at her.

"I like your moxie, kid!" he said, pointing to her. "Right then, let's go find us a motor so we can let loose on this unsuspecting city!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

On the way to a car rental place, Alan saw a sign advertising Detroit Tigers baseball at Comerica Park.

"Aha! We have landed in Mooooooooootown! The Motor City, perfect place to drive a car," he said.

They walked down the pavement in search of someplace to rent a car. While they were doing that, Alan kept looking behind at Tara who was giggling hysterically. Finally, Alan turned and put his hands on his hips.

"Scuse me, little lost waif, why are you following me?" he asked.

"I need a home?" Tara said.

"You need something more important than a home," Alan said, tapping her head.

He laughed when Tara tried to take a swing at him. They ignored the looks from the people around them and concentrated on having fun. Suddenly, Alan let out a melodramatic gasp and pointed to a tall skyscraper. The tallest part of the building was encircled by several smaller skyscrapers. The glass from the windows gleamed in the sunlight.

"Lookie," Alan said to Tara as he pointed to the logo on the tallest one. "It says GM, what d'ya think that stands for?"

"GM cars?"

"Nah, couldn't be, not in the Motor City. I think it stands for goddamn, this is a monstrous building, eh?"

"No, because then it'd be GTISAMB."

"Well, it must stand for Goober Moober then which makes it your building," he said.

"No, it stands for Goofy Mentalcase and it's your building."

She laughed when Alan chased her for several feet before giving her a big hug.

"Come, let us see what lies around the GM building there," he said to her.

He took her hand and they walked through downtown Detroit towards the GM building. On the way, Alan looked at the doors and windows of every shop and restaurant they passed.

"No public restrooms, no public restrooms, no public restrooms, blimey, good thing we don't have to pee just now, huh?" he said to Tara.

"You'd just pee on the sidewalk."

"I would not. I'm not that uncivilized. I'd pee in the dustbins instead."

He snickered when Tara slapped his back. He turned and gave her a wide-eyed look as she backed up several feet.

"I will ring your father and tell him you're being abusive towards me if you don't stop that," he said to her.

"I'll do it myself, I'm not afraid of him," Tara said.

"I dare ya to."

"Okay," Tara said.

She reached inside and pulled out her cell phone as she followed Alan. It rang twice and Rain picked up.

"Already? Didn't take ya long to get thrown into jail," she said.

"See, I told you so, Latara," the Doctor yelled in the background."Did I say not two minutes would go by before they were in the slammer? Huh? Didn't I?"

"Your father and I had a bet going and he's rubbing it in because he's right," Rain said.

"We're not in jail, Mommy, we're in Detroit!"

"They're not in jail, they're in Detroit," Rain repeated to the Doctor.

"Can't be, I'm always right about this sort of thing," the Doctor said in the background.

There was a pause.

"Alright, Star, come clean, what filthy rat hole were you thrown into?" the Doctor said over the phone as Rain, Rose and Madison laughed in the background.

"We're not in jail, Daddy. We're walking down the sidewalk to the GM building."

"Uh-huh, what year is it?"

"Dunno, we just found out we're in Detroit."

"Ah ha, so Brother went with the random I don't care where we're at selection," the Doctor said. "Has he been doing daft things?"

"Yes, ever since the garage door was closed," Tara said.

"I know, we heard him through the door which is why we're worrying," he said to her.

"Ooo, Daddy, we're across the street from the GM building and there's this tunnel to Canada right beside it."

"Wanna go to Canada?" Alan said, spinning around to face her. "Do ya? Do ya?"

"Put Alan on for a moment, Star."

"Okay, Daddy."

She handed the phone to Alan.

"Yeeees?"

"I suggest not going to Canada because you don't have a passport," the Doctor said.

"I don't need a passport, me and Sunshine have our psychic paper," he said as he and Tara hurried across the busy street. "But for the moment, we'll go in the GM building and tour it and ooo…lots of lovely cars just inside it. Huge glass windows and there's a red Camaro and a Dodge Intrepid. We're thinking of hiring a car to drive around Detroit, perhaps we can nick the Camaro and drive it right through the glass."

"I would advise against that," the Doctor said to him as they went inside. "I think they frown on you taking their cars and shattering their glass.

Tara noticed a man and woman sitting in the Camaro. They got out and she looked around and went to sit in the driver's seat.

"Hmm, apparently they'll let you sit in them though," Alan said to the Doctor while he went around to the other side.

He opened the door and slid in.

"Very nice," he said to the Doctor while he ran his hand across the dashboard. "No key but I know how to hotwire a car. I think we'll go on a little road trip here."

"If you get caught, I'm not bailing you lot out so just be aware of that," the Doctor said.

"Not to worry, I can get out on me own and get your daughter back in time for bed," he said.

Tara looked under the steering wheel.

"How you hotwire a car anyway?" she asked while she looked around.

"Brother, your daughter is wanting to know how to hotwire a car. Shall I inform her?"

"Put her back on."

"Okley-dokley."

He handed the phone to Tara.

"Yeah?"

"None of your business how to hotwire a car, young lady," he said while Rain, Rose and Madison laughed. "You want a car, find a car rental place, do not drive the Camaro out of the GM building or I'll be coming to Detroit, tying you to the bonnet of it and taking you for a joyride, got that?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Come on, Tara Gone with the Wind, let's explore further."

"Alan wants to go further inside the building, Daddy."

"Well, you behave and have fun and don't…get arrested."

"We won't, Daddy. I love you."

"I love you too, Star. Have fun and we'll see you when you get back, yeah?"

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

Alan grinned when she hung up the phone and put it back in her pocket.

"Now see, the fuddy duddy wants you to be calm and quiet and that's not for us. So come along, building to see and people to annoy!"

Tara giggled and got out of the car with him. They closed the doors and Alan took her hand as they headed deeper inside the building. Several feet in they noticed a series of escalators.

"Look, crank monkey stairs, wanna go up and see what's up there?"

"Okay."

Alan ran over and jumped on the up escalator.

"Hurry up, Poky Butt, before I reach top!" he yelled.

Tara ran over and got on it. She climbed up to the step below Alan's and he ruffled her hair affectionately. Once they got to the top, Tara laughed when Alan rode the step to the edge and pretended to trip over the metal panel in front of it.

"Ruddy escalator, they should have stopped the stairs to let people off!" he said as Tara got off beside him and took his hand.

They looked around and noticed some shops. In front of them was a doorway with three steps going up. They went up them and saw a circular walkway. In the center of it was another straight walkway and a circular area that had a Starbucks and several pods jutting out from it that had comfy chairs and couches. They walked around to the beginning of one side of the walkway and saw several elevators in a tiny corridor in between the walkways. People were getting on and off them but Alan and Tara walked up and turned to the right just before it heading into the Starbucks area. They walked up into one of the circular pods and sat down on a plush black leather sofa.

"Blimey, these are comfy," Alan said, leaning his head back on the stuffed leather pillow.

"Yes, these are very comfy indeed," Alan said. "Goodnight, Tara."

Alan shut his eyes and adjusted his body so he was comfortable. Tara did the same and lay against him. Without meaning to, both of them were asleep within minutes.

"Sir, Miss…"

Alan's eyes snapped open and they saw an elderly security guard standing in front of them.

"No sleeping!" he said sternly.

"I'm sorry, mate. Didn't mean to nod off but this is so comfortable we just couldn't help it."

The guard nodded.

"Just don't fall asleep again," he said to them.

Alan and Tara nodded and watched as he walked away. Alan winked at Tara and slammed his head back into the pillow and let out a series of elephant-like snores while Tara giggled. He snorted and his eyes opened.

"I'm sorry, did I drift off again? My bad!"

Tara giggled and shut her eyes, pretending to sleep.

"Oi!" Alan said slapping her cheek.

"Hey, you Goober, don't!"

"Don't what? Prevent you from ending up in the GM torture chamber where they put hot coals to your tootsies for sleeping?"

Tara swiveled her body around and laid her head in his lap while she hung her legs over the lumpy armrest.

"You're gonna get in trouble, you know. They'll go up to the very tiptop of the building and throw you off for this!"

"Then I'll regenerate and turn twenty!" Tara said, stretching her arms.

"No, you'll regenerate into a puddle of goo since I'm sure that far a drop will shatter both your hearts," he said. "But…as much as I'd love to sit here and sleep and annoy geriatric grandpa guard, we need to get moving and see and do. So up and at em, my niece."

They got up and left the area heading through the other walkway. They explore the rest of the building and found more shops, a movie theater, offices and a food court on the lowest level. Across from the food court was a large open area with tables and chairs in it and beyond that was a granite plaza with a view of the Detroit River. Across the river was Canada and they could see Caesar's Palace not two miles away. Behind it was the city of Windsor and off to the left of it was a series of houses and a road. They went outdoors and walked across the street to the plaza. There were several couples staring out across the water at the casino and forty feet away were sprinklers built into the ground that children were running through. Alan and Tara walked down some granite steps to a metal barrier that separated the plaza from the water below. They walked up to the barrier and rested their arms on the top of it while they stared at the casino. Alan put his arm around her shoulder while they stared at the white casino and hotel. In the front was a huge jumbotron that advertised upcoming shows. Alan squinted and read some of them.

"Loggins and Messina," he read aloud. "Alan Jackson, Larry the Cable Guy…so judging from that and the photos of the entertainers, early twenty first cen…ooo, look Michael Bolton is coming, let's go see him!"

"I don't know who that is."

"Believe me, you're not missing much," Alan replied.

They stared out at the water and watched people going by in speedboats and sailboats. Off to their right was the Ambassador Bridge which also went into Canada.

"So close we could spit on the maple leaf, eh?" Alan said with a wink.

"Yeah, hard to believe that's another country just right there."

"Well, it is and ooo, Donna Summer is coming to Caesar's as well, have to go see her."

He squeezed her shoulder when Tara giggled.

"You know, you and I have never had bonding time like this," he said to her. "We're usually with the Doctor and Rose. Nice to be able to spend time alone for once."

"Yeah, I like being with you, Uncle Alan, you're funny."

"Aw, well, I try to entertain. Granted Rose doesn't often appreciate my attempts at humor but I try."

He rubbed her arm.

"Perhaps my humor is more suited for children, after all, I'm just two years old," he said to her.

"I think cause Daddy and Aunt Rose have been through a lot so they don't laugh as much," Tara said to him.

Alan thought that over and nodded.

"You could be right, my Doodle Strudel. After all, my Rose started out traveling with Brother's ninth self which wasn't very much fun for her and then they basically went from one crisis to another without stopping and then Rose went on to Torchwood after she was stranded and worked herself to death there. And Brother's had over twelve hundred years of grief. I think you're right, Tara. I think life got to both of them a bit."

"Which is why I don't want that to happen to me. I wanna be happy and have fun and never get bored with traveling."

"Same here, Doodle Strudel, I love being out here and going places and seeing new things and I don't want that to ever wear off."

Tara put his arm around his side.

"I love you, Uncle Alan."

He kissed the top of her head.

"I love you too, my child bride."

"Hey!"

He winked.

"Well, everyone else out here seems to be a couple so I s'pose that means we are too."

"Couple of goofs, you mean," Tara said.

He chuckled and rubbed her arm.

"Yup, the very goofy of goofs. So now, my goof, you wanna move on and try to find a car legally so we can tear up Detroit?"

"Yeah!"

"Follow me then, oh lover of fun times!" he said.

Tara took his hand and Alan sent love into her mind as they headed up and out of the plaza.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

They went back through the GM building and Alan stopped someone near the food court.

"Excuse me," Alan said. "Where can we find a car rental place?"

"Probably out by the airport," the woman said. "But you'll have to take the bus to get there."

"And how much is bus fare?"

"A dollar fifty," she replied.

Alan thanked her and she moved away.

"So…gotta cough up three dollars for us to get out to the airport," he said, reaching for his wallet.

While he walked, he fiddled with the wallet so he could get some American money. Tara walked behind him and looked down when her mobile rang. She pulled it out and answered it.

"Hello?"

"In jail yet?" the Doctor said.

"No, Daddy, we're not in jail," she said giggling.

"Just calling to check on ya and I'll be calling every five minutes to make sure you're not somewhere at president Obama's pleasure," he said.

He chuckled.

"Just kidding. Jack and Ianto came to the house and they're taking us out for lunch. Don't know how long we'll be gone so just wanted to let you know in case you get back and we're not here."

"Okay, I'll tell Uncle Alan," she said.

"Tell me what?" Alan said, looking around at her.

She told him what the Doctor said as they went up the escalator. Alan nodded.

"Tell him to have a good time," he said.

Tara started to tell the Doctor.

"I heard him, Star. So…where are you at now?"

"We're still in the GM building. We're going to go get a bus so we can go up around the airport and rent a car for the day."

"Oh blimey," the Doctor said to the others. "They're actually gonna hire a car. I suddenly am very afraid for Detroit."

There was a pause.

"Hey, Sweetie," Jack said when he got on the phone.

"Hey, Uncle Jack."

"So…you're in Detroit, eh?"

"Yeah, we haven't seen very much yet."

Jack chuckled.

"I've been to Detroit once but that was 1919 so I'm assuming it looks totally different now," he said.

They headed out the front door into the hot summer day. Alan looked around for a bus stop and noticed one off to his left.

"This way, Tara," he said.

"Now where are you going?" Jack asked.

"Down to the bus stop by the building. We're passing by this tunnel to Canada."

"Oh yeah, underwater tunnel," Jack said. "I know where that is."

"Should we cross it and pretend we're refugees?" Alan said to Tara.

"Nah, let's go ride the bus," Tara said.

His face fell.

"Aw, nuts, I wanted to become a refugeeeeee," he moaned as Tara giggled.

When they reached the bus stop, Alan noticed another park nearby.

"Tara, let's explore this park a bit before we get on the bus," he said.

"Okay."

"Now what are you doing?" Jack said.

"We're going into this big park by the bus stop. Ooo, they have this huge fountain thing. It looks like a big metal donut on metal poles and it's spraying out water like a shower. It's cool looking."

"Where are you guys? I mean the date and the place."

"Um…we're in Hart Plaza according to the sign but I don't know the date or anything," Tara said to him.

"Miss!" Alan said to a young woman. "What's today's date? The full date, I mean."

"July 25th, 2009."

"Thank you," Alan said to her.

He told Tara and Tara relayed it to Jack.

"Okay, just a moment, Sweetie," Jack said.

Tara frowned as they kept on walking to the fountain.

"Just a moment for what?" she said.

Suddenly there was this flash and the Doctor, Rain, Ianto and Jack appeared behind them.

"Oh, that fountain," Jack said as they laughed.

He grinned as he closed the cover on his manipulator.

"Sorry, we wanted to see this really cool fountain for ourselves before we head out to eat," Jack said to them.

"Where's Rose and Madison?"

"They're in their rooms getting ready so we thought we'd come down and say hello," the Doctor said.

Ianto looked around and pointed to the GM building.

"That's what you were talking about?" he said.

"Yeah, it's huge inside," Tara said.

They walked down the brick surface to the fountain. There were no barriers around it so they could walk right up to it. In the center of the sculpture was a large circular marble block that the water cascaded down onto. Around it was a grate to catch the water. Jack cupped his hands in the water that was pouring down the block and splashed it on his face.

"Yeah, this was definitely not here when I was here," Jack said.

They moved away from it and slowly walked along the brick walkway looking around.

"It's a beautiful day," Rain said, holding the Doctor's hand.

"Yeah, this GM building is new to me. The only time I was here was in the '60's during the height of Motown and…"

They stopped and stared as a small subway train rolled by on an elevated concrete track.

"Whoa, they got a monorail!" Tara said.

"I don't think it's a monorail, Star. Looks more like the Elevated trains they have in Chicago," the Doctor said.

Alan thought for a moment.

"I wonder if that'll take us out to the airport. I'd rather ride that than the bus," he said. "Let's see if we can find a station and ride it."

They reached a flight of stairs and went down it. They noticed a bronze sculpture and went to examine it. It was a group of black slaves, men, women and children who were standing and pointing and looking over at the Canadian side.

"According to the plaque, this is in memory of the slaves that made it here via the Underground Railroad and this was their last stop before freedom in Canada," the Doctor said.

"You can't go, they won't let you in without a passport," Alan said as they laughed.

"Whoa, a boat!" Tara said, pointing off to the right.

They looked over and saw a large paddleboat anchored nearby. They walked over to it and examined it.

"Detroit Princess," Jack said reading the name on the side. "Yup, went on a few of these in the 1800's too."

They looked at it for a moment and then the Doctor and Jack escorted their spouses over to the railing where they stood and stared at the Canadian side for a moment as they held hands. They heard a rumbling and another train went by overhead. Alan saw a man coming around the deck of the riverboat.

"Oi, mate, where do you board for the train up there?" he said, pointing to the track.

"You can either board at the Arena or in the Cobo Center," he said, pointing to his left, "or in the Renaissance Center," he said, pointing to the GM building.

"Cheers, mate," Alan said.

He looked at Tara as they walked back over to their family members.

"Well, we can go back in the GM building then and board there," he said to her.

"Cool," Tara said.

The others joined them and they walked back over to the building. As they neared the front, Alan pointed out the cars.

"Whoa, Camaro, now that's what I'm talking about," Jack said as they went inside.

"You can get in em too," Tara said to him.

"Come on, Yan, let's get in our Camaro," Jack said to his husband.

They got inside while the Doctor and Rain looked at the Intrepid. Rain looked at a sign in front that had the year, make, model and features.

"2010, this is next year's model," she said walking back to the Doctor.

"Yeah, but if we were home, this would be an old, old, old, old, old antique," the Doctor replied.

After they were done looking, Alan and Tara escorted them through the building. They led them to the comfy sofa and they sat down in it and the matching chairs on either side.

"Oh yeah, gotta steal this for our home," Jack said, leaning back. "This is nice!"

The Doctor put his arm around Rain and they snuggled down into the sofa while Tara and Alan sat beside them.

"Yup, we definitely got the wrong sofa. I like this one a whooooooole lot better," the Doctor said. "Need this for my console room."

"You'd never get out of it to go explore," Rain said.

The Doctor thought about that and nodded as Rain laughed.

"Just don't go to sleep in them. Tara and I drifted off and an old guard woke us back up," Alan said.

"Well if they don't want people to sleep in them why did they put them here in the first place?" Ianto said.

"My point exactly. Both of us went to sleep without any trouble. I'm sure a lot of other people have done the same."

"Maybe it gives Grandpa something to do to earn his pay," Jack said.

They stayed that way for a few more minutes, relaxing their bodies before deciding to move on. As they walked, they looked around for the train station. Finally Alan asked someone and found out it was called the People Mover and the platform was one floor above them. Thanking the man who supplied the information, they headed up the escalator. As they went up, Alan noticed the other four were still with him and Tara.

"Coming along?" he said, amused.

"Yeah, I wanna ride it," Jack said while the others nodded.

"What about Rose and Maddie?" Alan asked.

"We'll get back to them a minute after we left," Jack said. "I'm just curious since this wasn't here when I was here last."

"Same here," the Doctor said. "This is new for me as well."

They followed the signs and finally found the turnstiles leading into it.

"Fifty cents?" Alan said. "That's all? Well, that beats the dollar fifty the bus charges."

They got some tokens from a nearby machine and went through the turnstiles. They went up two flights of stairs to an open air platform. The track was in front of them with a metal guardrail and beyond that they could see the city. Thirty seconds after they reached the platform a train rolled up. It was blue and had a Pepsi logo on the side. The Doctor glanced at both ends of the two car train as it slowed down.

"Is it me or does anyone else suspect no one's driving this," he said to them.

The doors slid open and they went inside. The interior was white with hard plastic seats on either side. Above them were several advertisements. There was a ding and the doors slid shut as they sat down. The Doctor, Rain and Tara sat down on one side while Alan, Jack and Ianto sat down on the other side. With a whirr, the train pulled out of the station.

"Next stop…Financial District," an automated male voice said.

Tara noticed some brochures in a plastic holder by the door. She carefully stood up and grabbed one before sitting back down.

"These are all the restaurants and fun things to do at each of the stops," she said as she looked through it.

She found a map of the route the people mover would take and studied it.

"Uncle Alan, I don't think this goes out to the airport. It just goes around the city," Tara said.

"Baby, look," Rain said, tapping her on the shoulder.

She looked up and saw her mother pointing out the window. She turned in her seat and noticed they were going past the Detroit River. Jack, Ianto and Alan stood up and looked out while the Doctor and Rain turned in their seats.

"Cool!" Tara said as they went past the river and a huge freighter that was sailing up it. All of them gritted their teeth when the train turned a corner and made a loud grinding noise.

"Um…is it supposed to do that?" Ianto said, glancing at them.

"I don't know but I got a headache now thanks to our sensitive hearing," Jack said.

The train slowed into another station.

"This is the…Joe Lewis Arena Station."

Tara frowned and glanced at her father.

"Who's that?"

"Famous boxer," he said to her. "Originally from Detroit."

Tara nodded and watched as the train stopped. The door opened and an Indian family got on. Tara smiled when she saw the oldest woman was wearing a blue and gold sari. There was also a younger woman, a teenage girl, a young man and a little five year old boy. They nodded at the Doctor and his family and they nodded back. Tara listened while they sat down near them and began to converse in a foreign language. She nudged the Doctor who smiled.

_They're speaking Hindi,_ he thought to her.

_Wish I could,_ she thought back as the train started back up again.

The Doctor listened to their conversation for a moment.

_They're going to Comerica Park to watch a ballgame_, he thought to Tara. _And they're commenting on the weather._

_Man, I wish I had my Time Lady mind. This sucks!_ Tara thought.

The Doctor chuckled and put his arm around her. Tara looked at him when he chuckled again.

What ? Tara thought.

The Doctor glanced over at the Indian family and smiled at her as Rain stroked her hair.

_The mother or grandmother just told the others she thought you were beautiful,_ he thought to her with a wink.

Tara glanced at the older woman who smiled warmly at her. Tara nodded and grinned when all of them waved back.

"This is the…Grand Circus Park Station," the voiceover announced.

They waved again when the family got up and got off. The doors closed and the train started off again.

"So you said this doesn't go to the airport," Alan said.

"I don't think so," Tara said, handing him the brochure.

Alan studied the map and cursed under his breath.

"Ah well, it's a nice little tour of the city before we get on the bus," Alan said, sighing.

"Should we accompany them onto the bus?" Jack asked the Doctor.

"Nah, let them get on with their outing. I'm sure Rose and Maddie are through by now and waiting for us," he said.

"Bring me something from the restaurant," Tara said.

"Like what?" the Doctor said.

"Where ya goin'?" she asked.

The Doctor looked at Jack and gave him a questioning look.

"I thought we could go to Wong's, they have a nice Chinese buffet," Jack said.

The Doctor looked at Tara and gave her the same questioning glance.

"Um…I want a couple of egg rolls and some egg drop soup and that pancake thing that's good."

"Egg foo young?"

"Yeah, I want that," she said.

"And bring me some moo goo gai pan and some egg rolls and a won ton soup," Alan said.

"Oi, I'm not your waiter," he said while they laughed.

He let out a mock sigh.

"Alright, if I must feed you both, I will," he said.

"Thanks, Daddy."

"Yeah, thanks Daddy," Alan parroted.

The Doctor raised his eyebrow.

"Well, in a way you are," he said, raising his right hand.

"Well in that case, Son, behave yourself today," the Doctor said while everyone snickered.

"Yes, Dad," Alan said.

"This is the…Times Square Station."

The Doctor's eyes bulged out in mock horror as everyone laughed.

"What? When did we get to New York?" he said as everyone laughed harder.

"We're taking an enormous detour before we get back to Detroit," Rain said.

"Evidently so," the Doctor said.

The Doctor rolled his eyes when several teens came on carrying a boom box that was playing loud rap music.

_Ugh,_ he thought to the others as the door closed.

_I think we're almost back around to the beginning,_ Jack thought as the teens became rowdy at the other end of the car. _Just ignore them._

"This is the…Greektown Station."

"Greektown," Jack said, waggling his eyebrows. "We need to go check that out!"

They giggled when Ianto nudged his arm and gave him a dirty look. Suddenly Rain gasped when a thin black teenager slammed down into the seat beside her.

"Hey baby, you lookin' fine! What's your name?"

"My name is Taken," Rain said, showing him her wedding ring.

The teen looked at the Doctor who was giving him a warning look. He held up his hands.

"S'alright, Dog, we cool, we cool. Didn't know she was your lady, sorry," he said, getting up and backing away.

The Doctor looked at Tara who was giggling softly.

"Your mum gets a lot of this," he whispered to her. "I have to beat them off with a stick. Constant watchdog, me."

"She's pretty," Tara whispered back.

"I know, that's the problem," he whispered with a wink.

"This is the….Renaissance Station."

"That's us," Alan said as they all stood up and exited the train.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Well, thanks for letting us take a ride with you," the Doctor said as they stood by the bus stop near Hart Plaza. "We better get back before Rose and Maddie wonder if we've been kidnapped."

"Yeah, you don't wanna make my wife angry," Alan said.

The Doctor snorted and nodded in agreement. He and Rain gave Tara kisses.

"We'll see you later tonight and bring you the food you requested," the Doctor said. "Don't get into too much trouble. You know how your uncle is."

"Oi, I'm innocent and sweet…and you belt up, Rainy!" Alan said, pointing at Rain when she started to say something.

She smiled and gave Alan a hug.

"Have a good time," she said.

They looked over when the bus started to pull up.

"Come along, Tara, it's off to the car rental place."

Tara squeezed her parent's hands and they both waved as they got on the bus. The others waved back and watched as the bus pulled away while Alan was fiddling with the fare. Jack slapped his hands together.

"So, find a secluded spot to activate the manipulator and back to the house then," he said.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Alan and Tara sat at the back of the bus. When they got on, Alan spoke to the bus driver briefly and asked if the bus went to the airport. The bus driver told him no and gave them both transfers, saying he was going back to the bus station and they could catch the bus to the airport there. Alan thanked him and made his way back to Tara where he flopped down in the seat beside her. Now both of them were teasing each other while the bus headed to the transit center.

"So," he said, leaning in. "What we gonna get when we get to where we goin'?"

"A big jet!"

She giggled when Alan stared at her.

"Um…hate to tell ya this, but a jet and a car are two separate things."

"Nooooo, really? Didn't know that!"

She giggled some more when Alan eyed her.

"Are you getting cheeky with me, young lady?"

"No, I'm getting mouthy, my cheek is over here," she said, pointing to her left cheek.

The giggling increased and Alan leaned into and stared intently at her cheek.

"Why don'tcha take a picture, it'll last longer," Tara said.

Alan began to breathe hard on her cheek.

"Quit breathing on me, Goober."

"Quit inhabiting the same planet I'm inhabiting, Goobette!"

Tara and Alan stared at each other with wide eyes and then burst out laughing. They calmed down a bit when the people around them gave them odd looks.

"Anyway, back to the problem at haaaaaaand-ah! What car we gonna get, huh, huh?"

"How 'booooooout a big minivan like we had in Florida!"

"Are we expecting company along the way?"

Tara shrugged.

"I was just thinkin' we could fill it with stuff and drive it into the TARDIS and take it."

"Um…it won't fit through Daisy's doors."

"Then land Daisy on it, duh!" Tara said, poking him.

Alan pursed his lips as Tara giggled.

"Ahem, did you just poke me?"

"Yes," Tara said, poking his arm.

Alan raised his eyebrow and poked her back.

"Ha! I did the same, advantage me!"

Tara poked him back and hunkered down in the seat as Alan eyed her intently.

"No one plays pokey with me and lives to tell about it."

He poked her side.

"Ha, see, I have had my revenge."

He grinned when the bus pulled into the transit center.

"And we're here so you can't get me back."

"Wanna bet, Dork Geek?"

"Yeah, Nerd Dweeb!" he said.

They got up and followed the others outside. When they got outside, Alan's mouth dropped open when he saw where they were.

"What is it?" Tara said.

"Blast and botheration, we passed by here on the people mover! See?" he said, pointing to the elevated station across the street. "We could have gotten off here and saved three dollars."

"Well, we didn't because you're a goober."

Alan eyed her and grinned when Tara squealed and took off running for the front door of the transit center. Alan gave chase and both of them breezed in the front door of the wide, newly built, Rosa Parks Transit Center. The inside was huge with several seats in the middle. Off to the right were the bathrooms, a pay phone and in between the bathrooms were racks with brochures listing the buses and schedules. Alan sauntered over to them and looked through them. Tara came up beside him and looked at the schedule inside.

"Is it far to the airport?"

He gave her a disgusted look.

"Anything's far when you're riding with me."

He laughed when she slapped his back and ruffled her hair affectionately. He checked the time on his watch and beckoned to Tara as they went outside. There were two lanes for the buses to pull up in and benches with glass shelters spread out on the dividers between them. Alan found the bench that was beside their bus stop and sat down with Tara inside the shelter. He sighed.

"Finally, maybe we can get to where we're goin' now," he said to Tara.

"Then we can have some fun!" Tara said.

Alan grinned at her.

"Bet you don't have this much fun with your father, eh?"

"Yes, I do. We have lots of fun," Tara said.

"But he doesn't let loose like I do," he said.

"Yeah, he does."

Alan was shocked.

"He does? When?"

"When we're alone. Daddy acts just as silly as you do but he usually just does that when I'm with him."

"News to me," Alan said.

"Well, you don't act as silly around Daddy. You got really quiet when he was here and Daddy does the same when he's around everyone else."

"Why?" Alan said.

"I think it's cause he thinks he has to act all grown up and be the leader when he's around everyone else. I think you get quiet around him sometimes because you are afraid he's gonna get mad, you know, because you're not acting your age."

Alan thought that over.

"Could be. I told you that I feel more comfortable being silly around children."

"Well, I think Daddy's the same way," Tara said. "I think he thinks I won't judge him for his goofy behavior and I think you think that too."

"You are wise beyond your years, young jedi," Alan said.

"Just telling ya what I see. You think you're so different from Daddy cause you came from Donna too but I think you two are a lot alike. You both loosen up when you get around kids. You don't think Daddy acts like you then you should go and buy a hidden camera and put it in his TARDIS cause you'll be surprised. He gets just as loud and silly as you do with me."

Alan smiled at that.

"I don't wanna see it. I have a feeling that's meant to be a private thing between you and him just like our goofing around is between us and you're right, I s'pose we are alike in that way. It's easier to be silly with children than adults because most adults have grown up and think that's not the proper way to act anymore, plus they're afraid of someone seeing them and being embarrassed. Me? I could give a flippidy doo about who sees me but I can understand why the Doctor hides it because he's done that sort of behavior almost his entire life. But I'm glad he feels comfortable enough around you to open up and do that. I think everyone in this family has a different dynamic and that's yours and his and mine and yours, we clown around together…except he also guides and teaches you on top of it. Not that I don't do that but you're his daughter and that's his responsibility. He's your teacher and mentor, I'm your wacky uncle that takes you out and lets you cut loose."

"Yup, you are," she said, giving him a sideways hug.

Alan returned the hug and kissed her head.

"Ugh, lice," he said.

He giggled when Tara smacked his head several times. They looked over when their bus pulled up. Alan reached into his pocket and pulled out three dollars.

"Come, my little partner in crime, let's go get us a motor," he said as they stood up.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

After riding the bus out to the airport, they located a Hertz near it.

"So, are we gonna get a sweet ride to cruise around Detroit in?" Alan asked Tara as they went inside.

"Yeah, get a Camaro like we saw in the GM building."

"Camaro it is," he said.

They walked inside and a man smiled at them as he stood behind the counter.

"Good day, can I help you?" he said.

"You most certainly can. We need a car for the day."

"Certainly, Sir, any particular car you had in mind?"

Alan glanced at Tara.

"Got any Camaros?" he said hopefully.

"We have one, Sir."

"Brilliant, we'll take the Camaro then," Alan said as Tara pumped her fist and said, "Yes!"

Alan filled out some paperwork while Tara watched him. Alan eyed her when she got too close.

"Thinking of learning how to do this so you can swan off with cars whenever you feel like it?" he said to her.

"You know it."

She giggled when Alan briefly tickled her before going back to his paperwork. Once he was finished, the man handed him his paperwork and the key and pointed out where the Camaro was. They thanked him and went out the door to the parking lot. They searched around and then found it. It was candy apple red with a black racing stripe down the hood. Alan grinned from ear to ear as they approached.

"Oh yes….yes…oooh….HELL TO THE FUCK TO THE YEAH!" he said while Tara giggled.

"Om…you just cuuuuuussed!" she said.

"Oh, like you don't," Alan said while she giggled.

He ran his hand along the hood.

"Oh yeah, I'm gonna enjoy this baby!" he said as he opened the passenger side door.

Tara followed him and started to get in but Alan beat her to the punch and sat down. Tara stared at him for a moment and then grinned as she ran around the other side.

"Cool! I get to drive!" she said, heading for the driver's side door.

She opened the door and got inside. She looked over at Alan and noticed the befuddled look on his face.

"Uncle Alan, what's wrong?"

She stared at him as he scratched his head and looked around.

"What?" she said.

His eyes settled on the steering wheel and he did an exaggerated double take.

"What? What the hell is the steering wheel doing over there?" he said as Tara giggled. "What kind of car is this? It's all backwards!"

"No, it's not, you're in America," Tara said.

Alan feigned confusion.

"Am I?" he murmured as Tara snorted out laugher. "Am I in America? I thought I was on Q-tip Nine. Fascinating."

"Can I drive then since you're confused?"

"NOPE! You're not old enough!" he said, getting out.

"I can fly the TARDIS!"

Alan leaned his head back in.

"Oh, right, just barely. I've seen your so-called flying skills. Now out! Scoot, skedaddle before I kick you in your saddle!"

"What?" she said as he sniggered.

"You heard me, Shorty! Time to vacate the seat and move your feet!"

"I don't wanna, nerd, you big fat turd!" Tara shot back.

She laughed when Alan gave her a long, hard stare.

"Right, I must resort to drastic measures then," he said, taking his head out of the car and standing up.

Tara giggled as he walked around the front, staring at her intently through the windshield while he did. He came around to the open driver's seat, leaned in and put his nose against her cheek. Tara laughed as he breathed heavily on it.

"No, I wanna drive!" she said.

"I believe I'm your elder, Tara Firma!"

"Nuh-uh, You're two and I'm thirteen! I'm YOUR elder."

"Nevertheless, they go by appearances and I look older. Now out before I have to grab you, pick you up, carry you to the boot and throw your tiny bum in. Out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out…"

"Okay, okay!" she said, swinging her legs out the door.

Alan stepped aside, let her pass and then got in. He watched while Tara hurried around the car and got inside. The moment she got in, they both slammed their doors and Alan put the key in the ignition switch and turned on the car.

"Oh yeah, listen to this little baby purr!" he said to Tara. "This is Suh-weeeeeetah!"

Tara laughed as he made an exaggerated show of checking everything before putting his hands on the steering wheel.

"Get your motor running!" he sang as he bounced up and down in his seat. "Get out on the highway! Lookin' for adventure and whatever comes our way!"

He looked at Tara.

"Take it, little companion!" he yelled.

Tara stared at him while he waited in anticipation.

"You want me to keep singing?"

"Indeedly!"

"I don't know the song."

"You don't know Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf?"

"No."

Tara giggled as Alan looked at her with shock.

"You have lived a very sheltered life, Tara Firma."

"Don't I know it," she said.

"Just…sing what you think is the next part of the song then while I back us out of here," Alan said, putting it into reverse.

"Okay, um…we're gonna get in a car and drive real far. Gonna cruise the streets and then sleep under bed sheets."

She giggled when Alan stopped the car and gave her an odd look.

"I said, I didn't know it, you dork!" she said.

"There it goes; your eyes are crossing again."

"Oh, be quiet!"

"NO! I WANNA YEEEEEEEEEEEEELL!"

He put the car into drive and chuckled evilly as he gave her a maniacal look.

"Now, the real fun begins!" he said in a sinister voice.

He chuckled when Tara quickly put on her seatbelt.

"Oi, no safety belts for you, Missy! You need to live life on the edge!"

"No, thank you, I just want to live life, period!" she said.

"Aw, you're no fun! So, where shall we take this fine little motor?"

"Let's go get something to eat!"

Alan considered that for a moment.

"Why not? After all, we have a car, don't we? Let's go through a drive through and show it off, what d'ya say?"

"Yeah!" Tara replied.

"Very well then," he said as he turned the car and straightened it out. "To lunch we go and then…on to fun!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Tara laughed as Alan drove around the city.

"WHERE ARE YOU, FLIPPIN' MCDONALDS?" he screamed out loud. "I NEED A FLIPPIN' FREAKIN' FUCKIN' DRIVE THOUGH! HOW CAN A CITY THIS BIG NOT HAVE MC BLOODY BLINKIN' FLIPPIN' DONALDS?"

"Do you feel better, Uncle Alan?"

"No, now I have a sore throat."

He grinned.

"A SORE THROAT THAT NEEDS TO BE WETTED DOWN WITH A COKE FROM A BLASTED, FLIPPIN', FREAKIN', BLINKIN', BLOONKIN' MC BLOODY HELL D'S!"

Tara was now in hysterics, holding her sides while she laughed.

"ARRRGH!"

"Throat hurt more now?" Tara asked.

"Yes, but I don't care. I wanna express myself and tell the world that Detroit seems to have no McDonald's in it!"

They turned down another street and drove up it.

"Where are yooooooooooou, McDonalds?" Alan sang loudly as he drove. "I been missing you all of my liiiiiiife! Where are you, flippin' McDonalds? I need you now more than my wiiiiiiife!"

Tara bent over laughing again.

"I hope you find it soon cause I gotta pee now," she said to Alan.

"Well, for goodness sake's, not in our Camaro, please," Alan said. "The interior is…MCDONALDS!"

Tara looked where he was pointing and saw the golden arches up ahead. She gasped when Alan sped up.

"Hey, don't crash the car on the way there!" she said while Alan laughed.

"Nah, I'll be careful!" he said.

He slowed down when they got to the entrance and pulled in. Tara frowned when he pulled into a parking space.

"I thought we were going through the drive through," she said.

"Una momento, I must get ready," he said to her.

"Huh?" Tara said.

Alan reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a copy of the Doctor's glasses and his screwdriver. Tara watched with interest while he used the screwdriver to tint the lenses. He put the screwdriver back and put on the glasses.

"There, now how do I look?" he said.

"Like an even bigger dork."

Tara screamed out laughter as Alan thrust his fingers into her armpits.

"I'M A STUD! SAY IT!"

"NO!" Tara squealed.

"I'm a stud…say…it…"

"OKAY, YOU'RE A STUD!"

"Naturally," Alan said, sniffing as he took his hands away. "Now, let's go through the drive through so I can impress the chicks."

Tara snorted and hunkered down when Alan raised his eyebrow and wiggled his fingers. He had a sudden thought and poked her.

"OOOO, I know, dare me to do something!" he said to her.

"What? What do you want me to dare you to do?"

"Repeat after me…Uncle Alan…"

"Uncle Alan," Tara said.

"I dare you…"

"I dare you…"

"To go through the drive through…"

"To go through the drive through…"

"And when you get to the menu…"

"And when you get to the menu…"

"Order filet mignon and red wine."

Tara snickered.

"Order filet mignon and red wine," she repeated.

She giggled when Alan gave her a shocked look.

"Why Tara, that's outrageous, how could you even think of something like that?"

Tara grinned and shrugged.

"Dare I do that and order something McDonalds doesn't even have?" he muttered to himself.

"Come on, take a chance and be wacky!" Tara said.

"I like your moxie, kid," Alan said, pointing at her.

"Oh God," Tara said to herself as Alan pulled out of the parking spot, "this oughta be good."

"Nah, I won't do that," Alan said as they pulled into the line for the drive through. "Takes too much time and I wanna be in and out with our food."

"Awwww," Tara moaned.

Alan raised his eyebrow.

"You're a bad influence on me, you know that?" he said as she laughed. "Your dad needs to be told about you."

"He knows, I told you we do stuff like this all the time when we're alone."

"Such as?"

Tara giggled.

"Okay, one time, we went to this planet and there was this weird witch that lived in the woods. Daddy and I went in there and knocked on her door and ran away before she could see us."

"Aha, prank knocking old witches, I like that!"

"But we weren't doing it just to be doing it. The witch was terrorizing this town and we were doing it to make her angry enough that she'd come out so we could trap her."

"And did you?"

"Yeah, we knocked a few more times and then when that didn't work, Daddy finally went up to her window and pressed his face against it and made this cross-eyed face and she ran out screaming at him."

She thought.

"Then he ended up washing his mouth out because her window was reeeeeally dirty."

Alan giggled at that.

"I can see that," he said.

They got up to the menu and Alan rolled down the window.

"I want a big mac meal with a Coke," Tara said to him.

"Do you want it garganto sized?"

"No," she said.

"May I help you?" a woman said through the speaker.

Alan grinned at Tara.

"Do the filet mignon thing," Tara whispered.

Alan jerked his head around.

"Yes, I'd like two Big Mac meals with two large Cokes, please," he said into the speaker.

"Chicken."

She giggled when Alan flipped her off while he stared at the menu.

"Is that all, Sir?"

"Filet Mignon!" Tara said louder.

"Yes."

"Double chicken!"

Alan held both hands up and flipped her off twice while he stared at the menu.

"That'll be nine fifty five, pull around," the lady said.

"What? That's daylight robbery!" Alan yelled at the speaker.

Tara roared with laughter as he hit the gas and quickly went around. He pulled up behind the car that was in front of him and grinned at Tara.

"You were saying something about being a chicken?" he said sweetly.

"Your food's gonna get spit in it."

"Eh, I don't care. I'll live," he said, shrugging.

He reached in, got the wallet and pulled out the cash while he waited for the other car to finish paying.

"Come on, you big burly son of a bitch in the other car, we're hungry!" Alan yelled.

Tara laughed when he quickly ducked down.

"Did he see me? Is he coming over here with a baseball bat to murder me?" Alan said to Tara.

"No, he pulled up to get his food."

"He did? Chicken," Alan said as she giggled.

He pulled up to the first window. He smiled sweetly at the blonde haired teenager in the window while he rested his right arm casually over the top of the steering wheel and tried to look studly.

"Hello," he said in a smooth voice as Tara fought to keep from laughing.

"Hi!" the blonde said cheerfully as she took the money from him.

"Not yet, but I could be if we had drugs!" Alan said in a low voice as she turned to her register.

He sniggered when Tara hit his arm. He accepted his change.

"Thank you," he said in the smooth voice as he gave her a million watt grin.

"You're welcome, have a nice day!"

"I most certainly wiiiiill," he purred.

Tara burst out laughing when they pulled up to the next window. When they got there they saw a teenager with long brown hair filling the order. She glanced at them and smiled.

"It'll be a moment," she said to them.

Alan nodded and smiled. He waited till she moved a couple of feet from the open drive through window.

"Better be a moment, bitch, I'm hungry and I'm timin' ya!" he said.

Tara threw her hands over her mouth trying not to laugh. He smiled sweetly when the women came to the window and gave them their Cokes.

"Be just a moment on the fries, Sir," she said.

Alan nodded and smiled. Tara giggled when he flipped her off the moment her back was turned and then whistled innocently. He looked at the window.

"They're not called fries, they're chips, get it right, Ho Bag," he said in a low voice.

Tara was bent over, laughing silently as Alan looked ahead and whistled innocently. He loudly drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and looked in the window at the woman who was shoveling the fries in the boxes.

"Come on, Ho Bag, stomach's a' growlin'!" he said

Tara coughed and laughed at the same time as Alan once again went back to his innocent whistle. He smiled and accepted the bag when the teen brought it to him.

"Have a good day, Sir," she said sweetly.

"You too," he said, just as sweetly.

Tara roared with laughter when he quickly stepped on the gas and screamed out, "BURN IN HELL, HO BAG!" as he headed towards the exit.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

After leaving McDonalds, Alan drove up the road a bit and parked by the curb so they could eat.

"Mmm, gooey, greasy goodness," Alan said before tucking into his Big Mac.

Tara ate a French fry while she looked around her. All around them on either side of the street were shops.

"You wanna walk after we eat and see what's out here?"

"We can if you want, My Bad Influence," he said as Tara giggled.

"I didn't tell you to call that woman a Ho Bag."

"Nah, you didn't. That was me being rude and not ginger and havin a giggle," he said. "I'm sure she's had much worse working at that place. She'll get over it if she heard me."

He grinned and tried to take one of Tara's fries. He pouted when she jerked the box away from him.

"Hey, you got your own!" she said.

"Yes, but I'm your uncle and I just amused you, so I demand payment for my services."

Tara looked down at her Big Mac and giggled as she picked a sesame seed off the top bun and gave it to him.

"There, enjoy!" she said.

She laughed harder when Alan eyed her. Suddenly, without warning, his hand shot out and snatched her fries away.

"Hey!" Tara said, trying to get them back.

"Being cheeky is punishable by the loss of all your chips!" he said, holding them away from her.

His eyes widened and he began to breathe heavily when Tara slapped his cheek. Tara laughed when Alan let out an enraged "MOOOOOOOO!" and grabbed her hair.

"Ow!" Tara said when he gave it two quick tugs.

"That'll learn ya not to mess with Oncoming Storm, The Next Generation!" he said, putting her fries back on her lap.

Tara laughed and seized his tousle. She tried to give it two quick tugs while Alan slapped furiously at her hand. He suddenly took his hand away and she gave him two hard tugs.

"There! That ll learn ya!"

"Tara, shhh!" Alan said.

"What is it?"

Alan put his fingers to his lips and pointed ahead of them. Tara looked where he was pointing and saw an argument between two crippled men next to a bus shelter several feet away. Around them were several people.

"Can't say for certain, but I think it started because the one bloke in the scooter tried to pass by the other bloke with his wheelchair and he couldn't get by," he said to Tara.

Tara's eyes widened when the one in the wheelchair decked the other man. They watched as both men, one a paraplegic and the other, a one legged man, got out of their wheelchair and scooter and tried to fight each other. Both Alan and Tara stared at them in disbelief as the two enraged men tried to punch each other while they kept falling over and hitting the ground.

"Cor blimey, how short a temper do you have when you're hopping around on one leg trying to punch a paraplegic?" Alan said.

"Their mouths dropped open when the one-legged man reached down to the ground and grabbed a knife. Everyone else began to yell at him, telling him to stop while the man tried to stab the paraplegic who was being held back by another taller man.

"This is the strangest fight I ve seen in my entire life," Alan said. "Stay here, Tara, I m gonna try to help them."

He started to get out of the car and stopped when he saw that the fight was getting under control. Both of them stared in shock as the one-legged man knocked over the other man's scooter and began to destroy it, bending his front wheel fender and cutting the power lines.

"These people are nuts," Tara said.

They watched as the man quickly got back into his wheelchair and hurried away while the others yelled for someone to call the police.

"Now I've seen everything," Alan said, shaking his head.

"He was gonna stab the guy, just because he couldn t get around him?" Tara said.

"Humans are a strange lot," he said, "and a lot of them have short tempers and violent natures and kill others over nothing. What shocked me was he was so adamant about killing the bloke that he risked injury himself by hopping around and the same goes with the paraplegic. I love humans but sometimes they can be so animalistic. But as for us getting out and exploring, I think It's safe now so let's finish eating and take a walk, eh?"

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After eating, they got out of the car and locked it. By that time the disturbance up by the bus shelter was over and the few people who were left there were chatting to one another. Alan gestured towards the opposite direction and he and Tara walked away from them. They walked slowly looking at all the shops along the way. Then they came to an old Victoria house with a wrought iron fence around it. A sign near the gate's opening informed them that dinner was being served inside. They noticed a huge plaque affixed to the fence and went over to read it. The house was known as the Whitney House and was owned by a wealth and eccentric man who was at the time the wealthiest person in Detroit. They glanced up at the house and Alan looked at Tara.

"Wanna go in and see if we can tour the place?" he said.

"Okay."

They walked through the gate, up a short cement pathway, up three stairs, across the porch and into the house. The interior was dimly lit and off to their left they could see a large dining room with thirty tables, all of them set and ready for diners. The house had black and red carpeting and in front of them was a staircase that went up. To their right was another dining area. They went inside and noticed several marble sculptures of cherubs affixed to the walls and renaissance paintings scattered around the room.

"Nice. I like this place," Alan said as they walked out. "Always loved Victorian houses, I love their elegance."

They started to head up the stairs when they noticed an elevator in the wall beside it.

"Wait, the bloke had a lift or was this installed after this became a restaurant?" Alan said as they walked over to it.

He pushed a little black button and they stood and waited for it.

"Sir, the elevator is out of order," a woman said as she walked around a corner and saw them.

"Oh," Alan said. "Um...we just ate, we re only interested in seeing the house."

"That's fine, go right ahead," the woman said.

Alan nodded and watched as she went into the dining room.

"Thanks muchly, Ho Bag," he muttered under his breath.

Tara giggled as they sprinted up the stairs to the second floor.

"Is everyone a ho bag today?" she asked him.

"Yes, everyone except you and me are ho bags," Alan said.

"Even our family?"

"Oooohohoho, they're the biggest ho bags of all!"

"Om, I'm gonna tell them that you said that."

"Tell!" Alan said, spinning around as she giggled. "Tell the whole flippidy floppidy floo universe. I couldn't possibly give a fig what you say or do!"

Tara glanced down when the mobile rang in her pocket. She pulled it out and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Tell me the truth," the Doctor said, "how many arrest warrants are out for you two?"

"None, Daddy!" Tara said as she walked around the second floor with Alan.

"I said, the truth!" he said as she giggled.

"Okay, we got eighty warrants out for us," she said.

"I thought as much," the Doctor said. "For shame, my daughter, I thought you were better than that."

"I know, I'm sorry," Daddy.

He chuckled warmly.

"So, where are you at really?" he said.

"This Victorian house that's really neat. They have a lot of sculptures and paintings. It was built by some rich guy in the 1800's."

"Brilliant."

"We saw these two crippled guys try to kill each other," Tara said.

"What?" the Doctor said.

Tara told him what happened. The Doctor sighed and muttered "Humans!" under his breath when she finished. "I'm glad you lot are okay."

"We were in our car when we saw it. We were eating McDonalds," Tara said.

She grinned and came up to Alan's back.

"Oh! And Alan called you a Ho Bag," she said.

"Called me what?"

Alan turned after hearing him and took the phone from Tara who was giggling hysterically.

"Just having a bit of fun, Brother," he said to the Doctor. "I'm just teasing Tara and she's teasing me back. I told her that everyone except us was big, enormous ho bags."

The Doctor fell silent.

"Gee, not quite sure how to answer that one," he said, amused. "I've been called many things but never a ho bag."

"A what?" Rain said in the background.

"HO BAG, RAINY PAINY, JUST LIKE YOU ARE!"

"Okay, let me talk to the little asshole," he heard Rain say.

"Ought-oh, mate, you just pissed off the misses," the Doctor said.

"Listen here, Shrimpy Boy!" she said into the phone as everyone else laughed in the background. "I don't know what you're doing or where you're taking my daughter but if she comes back corrupted, I'm getting some needle and thread and sewing your asshole shut, got it?"

Alan chuckled when he heard the Doctor, Rose, Madison, Jack and Ianto all say, "Oooooo..." in the background.

"That's right, I said it!" Alan said defiantly. "What ya gonna do about it?"

There was no answer.

"Rain?" Alan said.

"Mommy's mad now?" Tara asked.

He shrugged. Suddenly there was a flash of light and all the adults appeared.

"You wanna know what i'm gonna do about it, Shrimpy Boy?" Rain said, walking over to him while everyone laughed. "I"m gonna clean your little clock, that's what I'm gonna do."

She chuckled and punched his shoulder affectionately before looking around.

"Where are you?" she said.

Alan briefly explained to everyone about the information they found on the plaque while they looked around.

"This is beautiful," Rain said, walking over to her husband and daughter when he finished. "I love the paintings and the carpeting."

"Yeah, there's several things here I wouldn't mind getting for the home," Jack said.

"Sod that, I'll take the home itself," Ianto replied.

Rose walked over to her husband and kissed his cheek.

"Having fun?" she asked.

"So far, we haven't done that much yet. Just saw that GM building, went out the airport, drove around, ate at McDonalds and walked down here. Oh, and saw the knife fight between the two crippled people."

Rose shook her head.

"We were listening to that over the phone. I'm so glad you're safe."

"Nah, nothing to worry about. We coulda held our own," he said to her.

He put his arm around and they followed everyone else around while they looked at the second floor.

"This is gorgeous," Rose said, looking at the antiques.

"Not as gorgeous as you, Starlight."

"Well, well, here goes Mister Smoothy again," Rose said.

"Always," Alan replied.

He leaned in and kissed her passionately. They glanced over when the Doctor, Rain and Tara ascended the stairs up to the third floor and they and Jack and Ianto followed them. On the third floor was more antiques plus a drawing room with a couch, fireplace and TV and a couple of bedrooms.

"Too bad we can't take this back with us," Rain said to her husband.

"Well, I could always go get the TARDIS and land right on top of it."

"Will it fit, Daddy?" Tara asked.

"Sure, the Concorde managed to fit into it once."

"What's that?" Tara asked.

She giggled when the Doctor gave her a long, hard stare.

"We need to talk about updating you on historical events and things, Daughter," he said to her.

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After completing the tour, all of them stood outside the gate and looked around.

"So where was this knife fight?" Ianto asked.

Alan pointed at the bus shelter about fourty feet from them. There were still a few people inside it and on a stone wall beside it talking to one another but the man with the scooter was nowhere in sight. Jack raised his eyebrows when he saw the Camaro near it.

"Whoa, someone has a nice car," he said.

"That is our ride for the day."

Jack smiled at him.

"I love your taste in cars, my man," he said to him.

"So now what? Do we go back home?" Madison asked.

"Not yet, come and walk with us for awhile," Tara said.

"Yes, but Sweetie, this is your alone time with Alan," the Doctor said.

"You can come with us, especially since you keep coming down here anyway," Alan replied.

They looked at each other.

"Might as well, we're through eatin'," Rose said. "Might as well walk off what we ate."

The Doctor looked at Tara and Alan.

"And yes, we got you your food so don't worry," he said to them. "It's back home in the fridge waiting for your stomachs."

"Can I ask you something though?" Tara said to the Doctor.

"Sure, what d'ya wanna ask me?"

"Well, it's okay for us to be goofy right? Cause we were being silly and I liked when Alan was being really silly and making me laugh. That won't bother you, will it?"

The Doctor shrugged.

"As long as he doesn't get us arrested, he can be as big a clown as he wants to be," he said.

"Have at it!" he said while everyone else nodded.

"Will you be silly too?" Tara asked. "I told him you're very silly when we're alone."

The Doctor looked at Alan.

"Come on, Brother, loosen up and be a clown with me. I need help sometimes," he said. "No one here's gonna judge you."

"Yeah, I wanna see you really act like Alan for a change," Jack said.

"Same here," Madison added. "Show us what you got. Your brother can't be the only clown jester in the family."

The Doctor grinned and let out a mock sigh.

"Oh, if I must," he said.

Tara cheered and he gave her a kiss. Alan put his hand on his shoulder.

"Then perhaps a challenge is in order, Brother. Let's see who's the most daft by the time we leave Detroit."

The Doctor nodded.

"Very well, I accept," he said.

Rose looked at Madison and Rain.

"Oh boy, look out Detroit, you won't know what hit ya by the end of the day," she said to them.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

The women were giggling as they walked behind the men. Jack had decided to join in the fun and was trying to get Ianto to do it too as Alan and the Doctor teased each other.

"Come on, Yan, break out of your shell. I've seen you act goofy before. Who gives a damn what people think? We're gonna leave at the end of the day anyway. Loosen up and have some fun. Amuse Tara back there!"

"And that goes for the ladies as well. Let's all be spontaneous and goofy!" Alan said, looking back.

"Yeah, cause we can have fun and be ourselves today and who cares what others think?" Tara said.

"Well, get up here and be goofy with us," Alan said, beckoning to her.

Tara took her mother's hand and they walked up and got in between the Doctor and Alan.

"Getting roped into this as well?" he said.

"I guess so, Dear," Rain said.

They kept on walking and suddenly the Doctor stopped, his gaze fixed on the building across the road. Everyone stopped with him and noticed it was a huge marble building with two waterfall fountains on either side of some concrete steps. Two fountains on either side of the concrete plaza and three statues spaced out above the steps. At the top of the building was chiseled Detroit Institute of the Arts. Curious, the Doctor looked both ways and ran across the street while the others followed him.

"Sorry everyone, you know I'm a sucker for art and antiquities," the Doctor yelled back to them.

His feet hit the plaza and he slowed down. Putting his hands in his pockets he went up the steps and walked over to the central statue which was a copy of The Thinker by Rodin. He glanced at Tara and smiled when she came up beside him.

"This is The Thinker by Auguste Rodin. It's a copy of a very famous statue," he explained to her.

"He's naked. Is he thinking about putting some clothes on?" Tara said.

The Doctor sniggered.

"Could be. Probably thinking about how cold it is!" he said with a wink.

"NOOO!"

They looked over at Alan who was tugging on the front door of the museum. He turned his scandalized gaze to the Doctor as he pointed at the glass door.

"Clooooooooosed!" he moaned.

"What? No!" the Doctor said, running towards him as Tara giggled and followed behind him. "It can't be! I want in!"

"Me too!" Jack said, running from the other side.

Ianto rolled his eyes and the women laughed when the Doctor and Jack joined Alan at the door and all of them pressed their faces against the glass.

"IN!" Alan screamed.

"WE WANT IN! OPEN UP!" Jack screamed.

The woman laughed harder when they pounded on the glass. They all looked at each other and screamed, "IN!" The women glanced back down at the pavement and saw a couple of people giving them odd looks as they walked by. Rose waved at them and watched as they hurried away.

"Wait a tick, mates, I got an idea," the Doctor said to Alan and Jack.

Both men chortled when the Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver, looked around, unlocked the door and slipped inside.

"Oh God, we're gonna end up in jail before the day's out," Rose said to Rain and Madison.

The Doctor came back two minutes later. He came outside, locked the door and then held aloft a museum guide brochure in triumph as Alan and Jack applauded.

"Ha! No door can hold me out!" he said, putting it in his pocket.

"Did you see any art in there, Daddy?" Tara asked as they went down the steps.

"No, but I saw the security guard on the way to the information desk. But I eluded him because I'm brilliant," he said proudly.

All of them walked down the steps to the pavement and continued on their way. The Doctor put his arm around his wife and daughter and Alan and Jack did the same with their spouses as they walked along. The Doctor glanced at Madison who was walking beside them.

"We gotta find you someone, Maddie," he said. "We're all walking together and you're there out in the cold."

"I know," Madison said, pouting.

Tara hurried up and around to her side and her parents smiled as she took Madison's hand and walked with her. They walked up to an intersection and stood there waiting for the light to change.

"Hey, Baby."

All of them looked over and saw a ragged homeless black man smiling at Tara.

"You're a cutie," he said.

"Thanks," Tara said, unsure of what to say.

"You got a dollar?"

Tara shook her head. Alan reached into his pocket and pulled out a dollar.

"Bless you," he said when Alan gave it to him.

The light changed and all of them walked across the street. While they walked, Tara's attention was focused on some clothing shops across the street. Suddenly her foot hit a hole in the pavement. Everyone gasped as she stumbled and fell hard on the sidewalk.

"Star, are you alright?" The Doctor said as he and Rain came to her side.

"Ow!" Tara groaned as they helped her to stand.

The Doctor winced when he saw the enormous bloody scrape on her right knee. Tara rubbed her arm while he glanced around and brought out his tissue rejuvenator. Everyone gathered around him, shielding him from view as he used it to heal the skin.

"There we are, good as new," he said, running his finger over the smooth surface of her knee when he was done. "Anything else hurt?"

"My ankle," she said, pointing to her left ankle.

He crouched down and put the rejuvenator against her ankle.

"It's okay, my niece just fell and we're checking her out, making sure she's okay."

The Doctor glanced up and saw Alan talking to an elderly black woman who had stopped to see what was going on. He finished with her ankle and checked the rest of her body.

"Everything looks shipshape, Star. But in future, look where you're going, eh? Quit ogling the frocks and watch the pavement in front of you."

He tousled her hair when she rolled her eyes. She started to walk off again with the others and gasped when Alan scooped her up in his arms.

"My poor crippled niece," he said as Tara smacked the back of his head. "Poor baby, I'll carry you."

"Let me down or I'll spank you!" Tara said.

"Don't you mean pull a knife and hop around while you gut me like a pig?"

"Yeah, that too!"

Alan put her down and put his arm around her as they headed through an underpass. Tara looked around at the darkened interior. They were going through a pathway off to the side as car whizzed through. She looked down and made a face when she saw tons of trash and beer bottles, both whole and broken.

"Wanna carry me again, Uncle Alan, this is gross!" she said.

"Yeah, I agree," Jack said. "It's disgusting in here."

They hurried through it and came out the other side. Everyone jumped when Alan let out a gasp.

"WHITE CASTLE!" he screamed pointing at the restaurant right beside the overpass.

"Oh boy, here we go," Rose muttered to Rain and Madison.

"Hey, the boy likes his white castles," Madison replied.

"Oh yes, I'm getting some to take back with us. I missed eating gut bombs," Alan said, reaching for his wallet.

"Your what?" Tara said.

"Gut bombs, gut grenades, fart burgers, that!" Alan said, pointing to the restaurant. "Haven't you ever had sliders before?"

"No…"

Alan stared at her.

"Weeeell, you're gonna have em now!" he said as everyone laughed. "Come along, I gotta ease my castle craving!"

He hurried inside and everyone followed him. Tara held on to her mother's hand as they walked in. the interior was air-conditioned and the air was filled with the scent of frying hamburgers. Alan was already in the queue behind two people. Above the counter was a large menu that listed everything.

"Do you want something, Baby?" Rain asked her.

"I don't know. Are they any good?" Tara asked.

"Yeah, they're like little baby hamburgers and cheeseburgers and they have chicken and fish sandwiches too."

"I want a chicken one," Tara said.

The Doctor looked over his shoulder at her.

"How many, Star?" he asked.

"How many can I get?" Tara asked.

"Well, I could get you a bag of them and you can have them to snack on back home," he said to her.

"Okay," she said.

He beckoned to them and she and Rain came up beside him while he stood in the queue behind Jack.

"I'm getting a few things as well so we can share," the Doctor said. "I have to admit I developed a fondness for these burgers and I'd like to get a bag of them."

Alan reached the counter.

"Yes, I'd like a case of thirty cheeseburgers and three French fries and a large diet Coke," he said.

He glanced at his family and grinned.

"Trying to watch my weight," he said in a loud stage whisper.

He paid for his food and stepped back as Jack came up to order.

"Yeah, I'd like ten cheeseburgers, three onion chips and three chicken rings and a large Coke," he said.

He smirked at Alan.

"I'm not watching my weight," he said as Alan sniggered. "And these are for me and Yan."

"Suuuure they are," Alan said.

"Oi, what about me?" Rose asked as she stood behind the Doctor. "You get any of that food for me or am I gonna have to order some myself?"

"You're gonna have to order some yourself."

Rose looked at Madison who was standing behind her.

"That's what I figured," she muttered as Madison giggled.

Tara's eyes bulged when the lady behind the counter handed Alan a large cardboard suitcase. It was white and had the white castle logo on the lid with CRAVE CASE written underneath. Then she handed him a white bag with the logo on it and finally a large Diet Coke. Alan thanked her, took his items to a nearby table and opened the crave case. He plucked two cheeseburgers out of it and closed it back. With food in hand he walked over to Rose.

"There, I'm sharing with you," he said, handing her one.

"That's decent of you, thanks!" she said while Madison snickered.

He took the other one up to Tara.

"Here ya go, have a sample," he said, handing it to her.

Tara stared at the tiny cheeseburger nestled in the little open box. She reached in, took it out and bit into it.

"Mmm," she said while she ate it. "Good, this is good."

The Doctor looked at his wife.

"I suddenly have a feeling I'll be needing three of those thirty burger cases now," he said while Tara giggled.

They went up to the lady and the Doctor ordered two cheeseburger cases, a ten sack of chicken sandwiches and three large Cokes. The Doctor handed Tara the sack and Rain one of the cases and they took their Cokes and went over beside Alan who was sitting and waiting for them beside his food.

"So now what do we do with this stuff?" Tara said.

"Now…we go back to the car and put them inside so we can have them for later," Alan said.

"Yeah, but shouldn't we go back and get a minivan…like I told you to in the first place, Goober?" Tara said.

"You're not the boss of me!" Alan said quickly.

The Doctor and Rain giggled as he threw his head back and folded his arms over his chest.

"I told him to get a minivan cause I figured we were gonna get stuff," Tara said to her parents. "But noooooooo, Dorkbutt wanted the Camaro!"

The Doctor and Rain laughed harder when Alan gave her an incensed look.

"I didn't hear you complaining when we were cruising down the road with it, Mungo Jerry!" he said to her. "But yes, I s'pose if they're all coming with us now, we need to go back and exchange our sweet ride for a big bulky people carrier."

"He's angry cause he can't pick up hot chicks with his cool ride now that you're here," Tara said to her parents.

"He better not be picking up anybody in his cool ride," Rose said as she carried a sack of hamburgers and chips over to them.

She sat her Coke down on the table next to Alan and gave him a warning look.

"I've behaved myself…at least when it comes to flirting," Alan protested.

"Just keep it that way," Rose said.

"Just keep it that way!" Alan said in a snotty voice.

"Oooh, mate, that was gutsy," the Doctor said as Rose stared at him angrily.

"Excuse me, are you mocking me?" She said as Madison, Jack and Ianto came up beside her.

"What's going on?" Ianto said, setting his bag of burgers down on the table.

"Uncle Alan was a smartass to Aunt Rose," Tara said.

"When is he ever not a smartass to Aunt Rose?" Jack said.

"Exactly my point! This isn't the first time I've done this and there's no reason to get up in arms because I was just having ya on and bein' silly like we agreed and please, please, please, please don't punch me," Alan said to Rose.

"Oh go ahead, Rose, knock some sense into him," Rain said.

Alan stood up and grabbed the handle of his crave case.

"See this? This has twenty eight burgers in it which makes it awfully heavy and I could very well knock some sense into you, Rainy Painy."

"See this?" Rain said, pointing to her straw. "This is a blunt object that will be very painful once it goes in your eye."

"See this?" Jack said, pointing to himself. "This is me being a sex symbol."

He snickered when everyone slowly turned their heads and stared at him. He shrugged.

"Well, I can't help but toot my own horn sometimes," he said with a grin.

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After they got everything together, they decided to head back to the car so Alan could take it and trade it in for a minivan for the day.

"Do I have to?" he whined. "I was planning to land Daisy on top of it and put it in a showroom. It's not like we'll ever be in Detroit again."

"No, you take it back and be responsible," Rose sald.

"You mean, responsible as in the time we left the people carrier sitting in a car park at Julie's block of flats because we tired of the holiday and didn't want to go through the trouble of returning it. Is that the responsible behavior you're on about, Rose?"

They giggled when Rose coughed.

"Well, alright we did do that but she didn't nick it and put it in her TARDIS."

"Yeah and where we're going, the people managing the Hertz will be long dead and won't give a care," Alan said to her.

"Just…return the motor and get us a people carrier and quit whinging about not getting the bleedin' Camaro, yeah?"

"Yes, Misses Killjoy!" Alan said, rolling his eyes.

Everyone laughed when Rose took off after him and the two of them ran down the pavement for several feet.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"Okay," Alan said as they finished putting the food in the back of the Camaro, "I believe that's all of it."

He let out an evil laugh and rubbed his hands together.

"Food! All for me!" he said gleefully.

"You better not eat any of ours if you know what's good for ya," Jack said to him.

Alan sniffed.

"I'll consider not eating it," he said, sitting down in the seat.

"Are you sure you're gonna be able to find your way to the airport and back?" Rose asked.

"Absotively-posilutely as Dodger from Oliver and Company would say. I have a keen sense of di-rection."

He pulled his tinted glassed out of his pocket, put them on and grinned at them.

"Now, behave while I'm gone or I'll be forced to torture you all for punishment," he said gently.

"Just go, Dork!"

They bent over laughing when Alan eyed Tara.

"Ahem, I shall ignore that comment. And now, on to Hertz to trade up for a people carrier. Wait here for me, fellow travelers."

He shut the door and rolled down the window, giving them a huge grin.

"Oh yeah, I am a stud!" he said to them.

"Go, Alan."

"Yes, spousal unit," he said to her.

He turned the car on and gave them an evil grin as he waggled his eyebrows and drove off.

"Ten dollars says he ditches it somewhere near the rental place and lands on it later with his TARDIS so he can have it," Rain said.

"I wouldn't put it past him," Rose replied.

"So now what do we do, Daddy?"

Tara waited for an answer but the Doctor stood near the edge of the pavement staring out into space.

"Daddy?" Tara said, tugging on his coat.

"This is the Doctor. I'm not in right now, my mind is off doing quantum algebra calculations. If you need to reach me, leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I rejoin reality. Beeeeeeeeeeeeepah!"

"Hello, Daddy, it's Tara, your daughter," she said as everyone giggled. "I don't know what quantum algebra is, but I need you to come back so you can tell us what to do."

She thought for a few seconds.

"Oh, and I wanna see a movie tonight before we leave here. That is all."

She mimed pushing a button on the Doctor's arm and walked away with Rain and the others. They looked back and noticed the Doctor was still standing in the same place staring off into space. They all stopped and looked at him.

"He better watch it," Jack said. "Cute guy like him's likely to be sexually assaulted by tramps."

Rose giggled and nudged Rain and Madison. She sprinted over to the Doctor's back, planted her face in the back of his neck and snorted his hair.

"What was that?" the Doctor said as she ran back to Rain and Madison who were now bent over laughing.

The Doctor gave Rose an odd look as she stuck her tongue out between her teeth.

"Like the smell of your hair, Doctor. Smells like bananas," she said to him.

"Really? Let me have a whiff!" Jack said, running over.

They laughed when the Doctor's eyes bulged out and he ran away from him.

"Doc, come back, wanna smell!" Jack said as he chased him.

They ran for several feet and then both of them stopped. The others watched while they glanced at each other and went into a shop on their left side. Curious, the rest of them walked up to see what it was and found a shop selling old LP records. They went inside and noticed the Doctor and Jack thumbing through old LPs that were displayed in huge white wooden racks. Everyone came close to them and started thumbing through the albums.

"I'll keep an eye out for Alan," Madison said as she stood at a rack near the doorway.

Tara wandered up to her father who was studying an LP. She glanced at the LPs on the rack and picked up a Barry Manilow album. She was staring at his face when the Doctor suddenly snatched it out of her hand.

"Hey!" she said.

"I would rather die than have my beloved daughter exposed to Barry Manilow," he teased.

He gave it back to her.

"What is this?"

Rain giggled as the Doctor stared at her in disbelief.

"You don't know what a vinyl LP record is? The kind they used to play on record players?"

"Oh! I've heard of them, I've just never seen one before."

She looked at the LP in the Doctor's hands and frowned.

"Handel's Messiah?" she said.

"Yes, I love Handel," he replied.

He showed her another album.

"Also getting Beethoven," he said. "I love old LPs. CDs are good but the old pops you heard on vinyl records..."

He brought the album to his nose and inhaled deeply.

"And the smell of vinyl. Love the smell of vinyl records."

His eyes widened when Rose ran over and snorted the back of his head again.

"Ah," she said, "Doctor's shampoo, love the smell of the Doctor's shampoo."

"Get away from me, Rose!" he said while they laughed.

While they were looking, a middle-aged black man came up to them. He was short and dumpy with a thick afro and granny glasses. He smiled at his customers.

"Can I help any of you look for something?" he asked. "We have lots of rare LPs in here."

"Yeah, you got any early jazz?" Jack said, coming up to him.

"Lots of early jazz. Come this way."

"Cool," Jack said to the Doctor as he followed the owner towards the back of the store.

The Doctor went back to thumbing through the LPs while Tara held the Handel and Beethoven ones he selected.

"So…" he said to her as he looked. "I believe you were saying something about going to the cinema?"

"Yeah, can we? Later on, I mean. There was one in the GM building. Alan and I looked at it and they had Harry Potter playing."

"What if I don't want to watch Harry Potter."

"You?" Rain said, eyeing him. "The man who's read Deathly Hallows eighteen trillion times and can quote it by heart?"

"Doesn't mean I wanna see the film!" the Doctor protested. "I like books better. I have my own imagination."

He tapped Tara on the top of the head.

"And so do you, you need to start using it."

"I do but I thought it'd be fun to go and see a movie tonight, please?"

The Doctor glanced at his family.

"Everyone who wants to see Harry Potter tonight, raise their hands."

Tara giggled when she and everyone else put their hands up.

"S'pose we're going to see Harry Potter then and…Damn it, Rose, quit snorting my hair!" he said to her as she ran back to Madison chortling. "As I was saying, since it's a family activity then we'll go and…"

The women giggled when Rain ran over and snorted the back of his hair.

"Ooooh yeah, that's the stuff," she said, walking away.

Tara bent over laughing as the Doctor gave him an incensed look and put his hands on his hips. His eyes bulged when someone else snorted and he turned to see Ianto with an evil grin. The women and Jack fell over laughing as he casually walked back towards his husband.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Twenty minutes later, Alan pulled up in a blue 2009 minivan.

"Okay, who missed me while I was gone?" he said, hopping out and slamming the door.

He looked around trying to find where his family went.

"Hello? Heeeeeellooooooooooooooo! Yoooooooohoooooooo, family members who were just here a half hour ago, where are yooooooooooooooou?"

He stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Fine, if you won't come out, I'll just conduct my own self tour," he said.

He walked away whistling as he looked at the store fronts. He passed by the record store and pretended not to notice Madison who was grinning at him from just inside the doorway.

"Oh look, a solicitor's office, wonder what's in here?" Alan said as he stopped beside the record store.

"Hey dumb dumb, you overshot us!" Madison said, leaning out the doorway.

"Perhaps I can sue someone," Alan mused as he ignored her.

Suddenly his eyes bulged out when Madison ran up and snorted the back of his hair. He stared at her in shock as she ran laughing into the record store.

"Ooooh-kay," he said to himself.

He saunted back into the store and looked around.

"Ooo," he said as he wandered over to the Doctor.

He looked over the records in the rack.

"Find anything interesting, Brother?" he said.

"Several classical music albums," the Doctor said. "Tara's holding them for me if you wanna take a look."

Alan looked over and saw Tara standing by Rain across the way. She was holding a big stack of records in her hand while she talked to her mother. Alan sauntered over and pulled the top one off to take a look at it. He stared at the cover and frowned as he walked back over to the Doctor.

"Mickey Mouse Disco?" he said to him.

"That's not mine, that's Tara's," he said as Tara and Rain giggled. "I'd rather be shot than be seen with a copy of Mickey Mouse Disco."

Alan wandered back over to Tara and held the album out in front of her face.

"Explain yourself and your daft choice," he said to her.

"I like Mickey Mouse."

"I do as well but not to the point I'm buying his disco album," he said.

"We're finding her and the other children some record albums to listen to so lay off her, Dorkface," Rain said.

She gasped when Alan bonked her and Rain on their heads with the album.

"Shame on you for choosing this. Mickey Mouse Disco, what were you thinking?"

He took the other records from Tara's hands and looked through them.

"Strawberry Shortcake and Friends, The Smurfs, Chipmunk Punk?"

Tara giggled as Alan stared at her intently. He held up Beethoven Greatest Symphonies.

"I'm guessing this is Brother's because somehow I don't think you'd choose it," he said to her.

Tara snatched the records away.

"Give me those, I'm holding them for Daddy and I'm picking out things. Go find your own."

"Indeed I will and it's not going to be something like Fluffy Bunny does the Happy Dance," he said, laying the Beethoven album on top of the others.

He walked back over to the Doctor.

"Did you see that? Those albums she chose?" Alan said loud enough for Tara to hear.

"Yes, sadly, I did," the Doctor said while Tara giggled.

"And you're not doing anything about it?"

"Well, be fair, this is the girl who likes Happytown Tales," the Doctor replied.

"I know and you're letting her sink even lower into the depths of cutesiness and banality, pretty soon she'll be insisting we tie our hair up with pink bows and dance around in tutus and…"

His eyes widened when Rose ran up and snorted her hair.

"And why in the name of all that's sacred do people keep doing that to me?" Alan said as everyone laughed.

"Dunno, it started with Rose though," the Doctor said as Rose nudged Madison and giggled.

Rose ran back over and snorted the Doctor's hair.

"Mmm, snorting the Doctor's hair is like snorting cocaine!" she purred in his ear.

The Doctor and Alan stared at each other as everyone else bent over laughing. Rose patted his butt and ran back over to Madison.

"Hey!" Alan said, turning around to face her. "What about my hair? Is it like cocaine?"

"Nah, it's like dried turds," Tara said.

"I didn't ask you!" he said to her as everyone laughed harder.

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"Ah, now's that more like it," Jack said as they all climbed into the minivan. "Lots more room."

He inhaled deeply.

"Not to mention it smells like burgers in here," he said as he sat right in front of the crave cases and sacks.

"Yes, that's the best part," Alan said as he got in the driver's seat.

Rose got in beside him, The Doctor, Rain and Tara sat in the seat behind them and Madison, Jack and Ianto sat in the next seat. The burgers were stacked up at the back giving off a pleasant aroma as Alan started up the van and Jack put their purchased albums below them under the seat to protect them from the sun. He checked traffic and slowly pulled out. He kept it at a moderate speed so everyone could sightsee. He stopped at a traffic light when it turned red and whistled to himself while he drummed his fingers on the wheel.

"Hey! Let's go give blood!" Jack said.

Alan glanced back at him and looked off to the left when he saw him pointing. Beside them was a large black wrought iron fence that surrounded a parking lot and a large white block building. On the fence was a sign saying it was a chapter of the Red Cross.

"Yeah, we need to do our civic duty and give blood so our Gallifreyan brothers and sisters won't run out if they have to go to the hospital," Jack said.

Everyone snickered.

"Jack, are you seriously considering giving blood and risking it going into a human body?" the Doctor said.

"Yeah and maybe that way we can turn them all into Time Lords. We can make the whole world into Gallifrey just by giving blood," Jack said.

The light turned green and Alan drove off.

"Nuts," Jack said as they snickered. "Well, I thought it was a good idea!"

They headed out of midtown and headed back towards downtown. On the way, Alan spied something and slowed down. He pulled to the curb beside a vacant lot. Everyone stared at it wondering what he was doing.

"What are you doing?" Rose asked him.

"Look at the sign over there," Alan said, pointing to a huge white sign at the entrance to the lot.

Everyone got out so they could get a better look at it. Jack raised his eyebrows when he read it.

"Veteran's Park?" he said. "What park? This is an empty dirt lot."

"Not according to the sign," the Doctor said, gesturing to it.

"Yeah, but there's no trees, no benches, monuments, nothing, just the sign," Madison said.

"There's a lot of trash around here too," Tara said, pointing to wrappers, cups and broken beer bottles in the grass beside the lot.

"Yes, come to think of it, the whole area has become a bit trashy since we left the shopping district," Ianto said, looking around.

They had gone only a couple of blocks from midtown but the area was rundown and trashy with garbage in the streets and in the grass and old and worn out buildings. All of them got back inside the minivan and Alan headed back towards the city. He had a thought when he saw some abandoned buildings off to his right and turned down a side street. Everyone stared at the rundown and abandoned buildings on either side of them. There was even more trash strewn all over in addition to rusty cars and graffiti laden walls.

"I believe this is officially the ghetto," Alan said as he drove.

"It's gross. Look at all the trash, why would anyone want to live in all this?" Tara asked.

"Some people don't care about their environment, Star," the Doctor said sadly.

They turned right and headed back towards midtown. On the way there, they passed a homeless shelter. The shelter was a large blue block building with a chain link fence surrounding it. In front of it and around it, homeless people sat and lay on the ground and on the sidewalks. Dozens of seagulls and pigeons flapped around the area, diving and eating scraps of food that were thrown or abandoned by the people. Alan slowed down slightly going through and they watched and listened to them. They heard a few men fighting by the fence while several others stood around and watched it. Around the area was trash and dirty clothes that had been left on the ground. A few tents had been pitched in front of the fence and over by a tree that was shading a portion of the road, a man slept under blankets on a wooden pallet. Rain shook her head when she estimated that about forty people were around the shelter.

"This is terrible. It looks like a third world country through here," she said.

"This is terrible. All these poor people," Tara said.

As they were heading towards the intersection, Alan noticed a small white truck pulling up with Salvation Army Bed and Bread Club painted on the side of it. He noticed everyone start to line up on the pavement beside it and curiosity got the better of him. Rose looked at him when he went through the intersection, pulled over to the curb and parked.

"What are you doin'?" she said.

"Just seeing what's goin' on. Won't be a moment gang," he said, opening his door.

"Wait, I wanna come too," Tara said, opening the sliding door.

"Honey, be careful, stay with Uncle Alan," Rain said.

"Okay, Mommy," she said as she got out.

Alan stopped and waited till she closed the door before they both headed back across the street to the queue.

"What's going on?" Tara said to him.

"My guess is it's a portable bread line," he said to her. "You know me though, gotta see for myself. Just pretend you're homeless, yeah?"

"Okay."

They walked around the truck and got into the queue. Already there were twenty five people in front of them. Alan put his arm around Tara's shoulder as they slowly moved forward. They saw a sliding glass window in the side and someone was handing out sandwiches, oranges, potato chips and Styrofoam cups of liquid. Around them the gulls and pigeons were circling, squawking at each other as they fought for scraps.

"You're new."

Alan turned to see an elderly man behind him. His face was haggard and his short afro was snow white. He was dressed in a white secondhand t-shirt and dingy green trousers. Alan smiled warmly at him and spoke with an American accent.

"Yeah, my family and I got evicted from our home," he said to him. "We couldn't keep up with the mortgage."

"I feel ya," the man said, nodding. "Got evicted from my apartment for the same thing. So you and your family are living in your car? I noticed you pulled up in a minivan."

"Yeah, we are," Alan said.

"Why not stay here?" the man said, pointing to the shelter. "You have to sleep on chairs, no beds, but at least it's bigger than a minivan."

Tara was shocked at that but Alan mentally told her to keep quiet.

"Thanks but I think we'll be moving on and finding somewhere else to park the car," he said to him.

"Suit yourself, brother," the man said.

They reached the window and Alan thanked the man as he passed him two bologna sandwiches in a plastic bag, an orange, a snack sized bag of Lay's potato chips and a cup of Sprite. He was about to walk off when the elderly man came up to the window.

"Can you give him more, he's got a family to feed," he said to the man.

Alan and Tara both a bag filled with several sandwiches, chips and oranges. They thanked him and waved at the elderly man as they started to walk off.

"Hey, ya'll need clothes?" the elderly man said as he took his food.

"No, we're fine, we have our clothes," Alan said to him.

"Because I was gonna say, down the road this Saturday they'll be passing out food in the park at 11 am and they always have a busload of clothes and shampoo and soap and things like that."

"Thank you, we'll keep that in mind."

"Take care, you two."

"You two," Alan said.

"Bye!" Tara said, waving.

They walked back to the car. Once they got inside, they showed them the food and told them what the man had said.

"Chairs? That's all they get to sleep on is chairs?" Rain said, shocked.

"That's what he said," Alan said.

"That's terrible," Madison said. "Those poor people, no wonder some of them choose to sleep outside."

"What did they give them to eat?" Jack said.

Tara held up each item.

"At least they're fed well," Jack commented. "And they're able to get fresh clothes."

"Yeah but they really should put beds in there or camp beds at least," Rose said, shaking her head. "I know I wouldn't wanna spend a night sleeping on a hard chair."

Alan started up the car and pulled out into traffic. He and Tara sipped their soda while they continued their tour of the city.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

As they continued to drive around, all of them looked out with sadness at the slummy part of the city. The Doctor shook his head.

"It wasn't like this in the 1960's," he said. "Detroit used to be a thriving city, one of the manufacturing giants of the world. There were slums but not like this."

"That's sad cause it's a neat city," Tara said.

"Well, it's because at this point in history the economy is bad and businesses are shutting down, losing money and going bankrupt. GM, the people who own that big building, filed bankruptcy and caused many people to lose their jobs because of that."

"Are they gonna lose that building then?" Tara asked.

"No, they restructure things and start making better, more fuel efficient cars and recover," the Doctor said. "They won't lose the building and…"

He trailed off when Alan slowed down and started to pull over.

"Love?" Rose said, frowning.

"Tara, love, give me that sack of food," Alan said, glancing back. "I think this old woman over here is homeless, she looks like she could use the food."

He pulled up beside her as Tara got the bag and rolled down the window. The elderly lady was black and was emaciated. She was dressed in saggy, worn clothing that was far too hot for the summer heat. She was carrying a plastic shopping bag filled with her things.

"Hi, are you hungry?" Alan asked.

The women nodded eagerly.

"Wait a tick and we'll give you some food then," he said.

"Jack, get in one of my burger cases and give her some of my burgers so she'll have something beside bologna sandwiches," the Doctor said.

Jack nodded and turned slightly in his seat to reach the food behind him while the Doctor pulled out his wallet and fiddled with the keypad.

"Do you need a ride?" Alan asked the old lady who shook her head in reply.

The Doctor used his magic wallet and produced two hundred dollars. He handed the bills to Alan who gave it to the shocked lady.

"Here you go, find a nice hotel and a hot meal for tonight," Alan said to her.

"Bless you, bless you all!" she said.

Tara handed him the bag containing the Salvation Army food and the burgers. Once again she thanked them profusely and declined another offer to ride with them when Alan handed it to her. They waved at her and grinned when a smile cracked her wrinkly face. She kept on waving as Alan rolled the window back up and drove away.

"Wish we could do more but at least she has food and some money to help her out," Alan said to them.

"Cor, you're just a good Samaritan, you are," Rose said, patting him on the knee.

"Does the good Samaritan get sex in return for his generosity?"

Everyone snickered when Rose looked shocked for a moment before eyeing him.

"Only saying, you know I don't do things to make myself look good and not expect a reward for it," he said, shrugging.

They laughed when Rose swatted his head and rolled her eyes.

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After riding around, they swung back and headed back towards the city. They went through the Greektown section which had numerous Greek restaurants and a huge casino hotel. Alan slowed down, pulled to the curb beside the casino and stared at it.

"Fancy trying your luck in here?" he asked.

"I wouldn't mind," Jack said. "I like to gamble from time to time."

"Gee, why am I not surprised?" the Doctor said as they laughed.

"Yeah, but what about Tara? Would they let her inside?" Rain said.

"I think they would if she were with us," Jack said. "It's not like she's a little screaming baby."

"Shut up, Uncle Alan!" Tara said when she noticed Alan was about to reply to that.

All of them got out of the car and locked it before heading across the street. The casino was an enormous brick building. The entrance was nestled in a cul-de-sac that led out to the street. They walked up and went inside. The guard at the door glanced at them and smiled as they walked through.

"Apparently, they don't have a problem with Tara being here," the Doctor said.

The interior was wide with red carpeting on the floor. On the first level was row after row of slot machines. Smoke hung in the air from all the smokers operating them and Tara wrinkled her nose at the stale odor. They split up into three groups after agreeing to meet back at the front entrance in an hour. The Doctor took Rain and Tara while Madison went with Rose and Alan and Jack and Ianto stayed together.

"Come on, Yan, let's see if we can find a blackjack table somewhere. Slots aren't my thing," he said to him as they headed towards an escalator.

Tara had a hold of her parent's hand while they walked through the building. She watched with curiosity at the people playing the slot machines and noticed most of them seemed to be mesmerized as they hit the big buttons repeatedly and the dials spun on the screen. The Doctor made a face as they went by.

"Never fancied slots, I like poker better."

"Like this," Tara said, poking him.

He eyed her as she giggled.

"No because that would be poke-him. This is poker," he said, jabbing his finger in her side.

"Well, a big casino like this, they must have a poker table somewhere," Rain said.

"Maybe Jack's right, maybe they're on the first floor," the Doctor said, pointing up.

"Are you gonna play poker, Daddy?"

"I might play a couple of hands," he said.

"You gonna gamble the TARDIS?" Tara said.

"Uh…no," he said as she and Rain giggled. "I gamble with many things including my life but the TARDIS isn't one of them."

"See, Mommy, he's afraid. He knows he's gonna lose and…"

She gasped when the Doctor stuck his finger in his mouth, licked it and placed it in her ear.

"So anyway, let's go to the first floor and see what they have," he said casually as Tara tried to get the spit off her ear.

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Meanwhile, Alan and Rose were in the queue waiting to exchange money for chips. Alan pulled out his magic wallet and let out a theatrical sigh.

"What?" Rose said.

"I s'pose you'll be wanting no less than five thousand in chips, perhaps even ten thousand because we all know you have an addition, isn't that right, you gambling whore?"

He ducked down when Rose smacked his head three times.

"Only saying, dearest, that you need to cut down on your raging addiction before we lose our shirts and our TARDIS. I know you love the craps table but you can't go around offering me up for sex to anybody with a fat wallet, even though I…do fetch a lot of money for ya, but the point is, I'm not your rent-a-mule for chips!"

"Shut up, ya weirdo," Rose said, giggling.

"Only saying, I'd take a dildo up the butt for you for many things but poker chips is not one of em."

He gave her an evil grin when she turned bright red and looked around to see if anyone heard him. She watched as Jack, Ianto and Madison walked up and got in line behind her.

"Afternoon, Blondie, getting some chips of your own?" Jack said.

"Yes, I'm buying her chips to satisfy her raging gambling addiction," Alan said. "Because we all know she's a gambling whore."

He ran out of the queue before Rose could bop him on the head. Jack and Ianto chuckled as he came jogging back and kissed her cheek. They looked over when the Doctor, Rain and Tara came up and got in line behind Ianto.

"So, the little one is well on her way to her own gambling addiction, I see," Alan said, gesturing to Tara.

"What are we gonna do here?" Tara asked the Doctor.

"We're in line to see a Snizzle," Alan said to her.

"Shut up, Uncle Alan."

"Make me, Niecee Teecee," he said to her.

He stuck his tongue out and spun back around.

"Yup, you can definitely tell he's only two years old," Madison said.

They watched as he walked up to the counter and talked sweetly to the lady behind it while he got some chips. Jack looked back at the Doctor.

"I just love how he can be a complete ass to us and yet he'll treat total strangers like gold," he said to him.

"Well…I have to admit he gets that from me," the Doctor said, shrugging. "You always irritate the ones you love, ya know."

Alan and Rose walked back to them carrying brightly colored chips. He held them out to Tara who took a ten dollar chip and examined it.

"This is what you gamble with?" she asked him.

"Yup, except on the slot machines, you use bank notes on those. But…we're off to find something Rose can do before she loses her mind and rampages through the casino in a blind, hormonal, homicidal rage. Ta-ta!"

"Geez, I've said it once and I'll say it again, Rose has the patience of a saint," Rain said as Jack, Ianto and Madison went up to the counter.

"What are we gonna gamble on, Daddy?"

The Doctor pointed behind her to the wall at the far end of the room.

"See those slot machines against that wall?" he said to Tara.

"Yeah," Tara said, staring at it.

"Well, I thought we could make you stand beside the last one, up against the wall and I'd put an apple on your head and we'd play William Tell and bet on that, how 'bout it?"

"Who's William Tell?" Tara asked.

Everyone giggled as the Doctor gave her a long, hard stare. He looked at his wife.

"It's depressing to make a joke when the person doesn't get the punchline," he said to her.

He rapped lightly on the top of Tara's head.

"Does anything get in there when I'm teaching you? Do facts settle in your Happytown Tales addled brain at all?"

"They do when you quit talking four hundred miles an hour and give me long enough to understand what you're saying!"

She ducked behind her mother as the Doctor's mouth dropped open.

"Your turn, Professor Mouth," Jack said as he, Ianto and Madison walked away with chips in their hands.

"Excuse me? Professor what?" the Doctor said as Rain and Tara giggled.

Eyeing Jack who was giving him an impish grin, he walked up to the counter and talked to the lady behind it.

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After getting some chips, the Doctor, Rain and Tara walked around the smoky room looking at everything. In addition to slot machines, there were also blackjack, craps and roulette tables as well as poker. The Doctor took them to one of the blackjack tables.

"This is easy, the object is to get a higher card value than the dealer without going over twenty one," the Doctor said to Tara.

Tara stood beside him and Rain stood on the other side while he played a round. While he played, he pointed out the card values to Tara who was watching in silent fascination at what her father was doing. While he played, Tara could tell he was calculating the cards in order to beat the dealer. He smiled when he won and received more chips.

"See, nothing to it," he said to her with a wink. "Wanna help me play another round?"

"Okay," Tara said.

The Doctor started another round. The dealer dealt him a two of hearts and a four of hearts.

"Have six, what should I do?" he asked Tara. "Hold or go on?"

"You have to get twenty one?" Tara asked.

"Gotta get as close to twenty one as I can without going over so I can still have a total of fifteen and stay safe, so what should I do?"

"Um…go on," she said.

The Doctor nodded and the dealer dealt him a ten of clubs.

"Sixteen," he said to her. "Hold or go on?"

"Um…hold," she replied.

They watched as the dealer dealt her cards. The Doctor made a face when she scored twenty and took his money. The Doctor feigned anger as Tara ducked behind him, giggling and then smiled. He took Rain's hand and the three of them walked off to find something else.

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"Come on, baby, get me a seven," Alan said as he picked up the dice from the craps table.

He grinned at Rose who was standing beside him and held the dice up under her nose.

"Blow," he said to her.

Rose grinned and blew on his hand. Alan leaned in.

"Not the dice, me, you silly monkey."

He grunted when Rose smacked his bottom and he gave her an interested look at that.

"Roll, Mister High Stakes before I roll for ya," she said.

Alan gave her a scandalized look and then rolled the dice.

"Four," the man said when they stopped rolling.

Alan feigned irritation at Rose.

"That puff of air was meant to bring me luck, Misses, what the hell happened?"

Rose grinned and shrugged innocently.

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Meanwhile, Jack, Ianto and Madison were gambling together with a couple of others at the roulette table. Jack had some of his chips on twenty two black, Ianto on sixteen red and Madison on three black. They and the others watched while the ball rolled around and around the grove in the roulette wheel, waiting for it to settle into a niche.

"Come on, twenty two black, twenty two black!" Jack chanted as it rolled into a niche and the wheel slowed down.

His mouth dropped open when he noticed it landed in three black. Madison's eyes bulged out of her skull.

"I won?" she said. "I've never won at gambling in my life!"

She beamed from ear to ear when the dealer gave her all the chips. Jack grinned and stuck his hand out.

"Borrow a fiver, Sis?" he asked.

"Eh, I'll think about it," Madison said, shrugging.

They watched as she quickly gathered up the chips and walked off.

"Wait, you're not going again?"

"No, I'm gonna cash these out. I was never much for gambling," she said to him.

"Wait, some of those chips are mine, gotta give me a chance to win them back," he said.

"Sorry, I know when to quit while I'm ahead," Madison said.

Jack sulked when she walked away in search of the place to cash in her chips. Jack looked at Ianto.

"I s'pose it's up to me then, right?" Ianto said.

"Yup, lay those chips down; I need to win back what Maddie took from me."

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After playing blackjack and trying one round on the roulette wheel, the Doctor, Rain and Tara went over to the slot machines. Tara stood behind her parents as they sat side by side and played. She was fascinated by the video game-like display on the screen. The Doctor and Rain both explained what they were doing as they played. While she was watching, a waitress came over and sat a small plastic cup of alcohol down in front of the Doctor and Rain and went away.

"Hey, Miss, they didn't order those," Tara called to her.

"They're complimentary drinks, Honey, they give them to everybody," Rain said. "They give you free drinks and food because they're hoping you'll stay and gamble longer while you eat."

"Course some people don't need the free drinks and food in order to stay a long time," the Doctor added.

Tara picked up his drink and stared at it.

"What is it?" she asked the Doctor.

He glanced at the cup and sniffed the contents.

"Rum and coke, I think," he said to her.

Tara took a teeny sip and made a face as she stuck her tongue out.

"Ugh, they can have it. I'd rather have plain old Coke," she said, setting it down.

Imbibing alcohol as a minor?" Alan said as he and Rose walked up to them. "For shame!"

"Bite me, Dorkface!"

She giggled when Alan leaned over her head and clicked his jaws as he pretended to bite her.

"Any luck at all?" Rose asked.

"No, I'm not really playing to win. I'm just amusing myself until the dollar's used up in this five cent slot machine," he said to her. "You?"

"Not a sausage. We played a round of poker and tried the blackjack tables and neither of us won anything," Rose said. "However, Maddie beat Jack and Ianto at the roulette wheel."

"Oooohoho, that must have ruffled Jack's feathers," the Doctor said.

He played his last round at about the same time Rain did and both of them sat back.

"I'm ready when everyone else is," the Doctor said. "I'd rather go and see something besides a video screen. If I wanted to do that, I would have stood in the console room and stared at my monitor for six or seven hours. Do you wanna try this one, Star?"

"No, it looks boring. I'd rather do something else too. This place smells bad cause of all the cigarette smoke."

"I wholeheartedly agree," the Doctor said as he and Rain rose from their seats. "Come on, you lot, let's see if we can find the others and head out of here."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

"More than a woman! More than a woman to me-hee!"

Everyone was giggling as Alan drove down the street. He had turned the XM radio to a disco station and was currently singing along to the Bee Gees while he drove.

"More than a woman! More than a woman to me-hee."

"Kill me now," Rain said while Tara giggled.

"I am a studmuffin," Alan said to the tune of the song. "I am so studly, tee heehee."

Rose glanced back at everyone and shook her head. By now, Alan was ignoring the song and just making up his own lyrics.

"I am so studly," he sang. "And Rosie has to agree-hee. I'm feelin' horny and I just gotta go pee-hee."

"Excuse me, Mister Singer, but no one but you wants to hear your take on the Bee Gees," Jack called up to him.

"I'm having a good time so piss off," Alan said to him. "I can sing falsetto if I want to!"

"Everyone! At the next traffic light, open the doors, get out and run so Douchebag can sing falsetto to his hearts' content," Rain said.

"Rainy's a painy," Alan sang. "Rainy's a bi-hih-chee-hee-hee!"

"Ooo," Tara said, looking at the Doctor.

"Oh yeah?" Rain said.

She began to sing like Alan.

"I'm gonna hurt ya," she sang. "So you better start running from me-hee!"

Everyone giggled at that as Alan flipped her off.

"What? You can be insulting towards me but I can't do it back to you? You can dish it out but you just can't take it, little Weiner schnitzel. "

Alan glanced at Rose.

"Weiner schnitzel?" he said as everyone laughed.

They were headed out of downtown again down Jefferson Avenue heading east. They passed through some more run down houses and buildings back towards midtown. On the way there, Alan noticed a bridge that spanned across the Detroit River. Curious, he slowed down and turned onto it.

"What is over here, me wonders?" he said as he drove across the concrete bridge. "Methinks me has found an island."

"Methinks you're talking like a dork again," Tara said.

"Sticks and stones, sticks and stones," he said airily as he drove.

When they reached the other side of the bridge, they saw a large wooden sign that said Belle Isle State Park. A few feet away was a huge hedge sculpture of a clock that actually told time. They stopped for a moment to admire it before turning right and slowly driving around the island. They rounded the bend and noticed Canada about ten miles away across the water. Alan stopped the minivan and everyone got out to enjoy the view.

"Everybody wave to Canada!" Jack yelled as they walked towards the bank.

Tara giggled and waved.

"HI CANADA!" she screamed.

"Gee, why didn't anybody else do it?" Jack said.

"CANADA! YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT!" Alan bellowed. "I WISH I COULD CROSS OVER TO YOU BUT I CAN'T! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

He looked at Jack.

"Satisfied?" he said.

"Well, I figured you'd do something like that anyway," Jack said, shrugging.

The Doctor walked up to a large elm tree and leaned against the gnarled bark. He put his hands in his pockets while he gazed at the water. Tara came up beside him and gingerly crept down to the edge of the riverbank. She turned and looked at her father.

"There's no steel barrier thing like there was at the GM building. So you could go swim to Canada."

"I doubt that, Star. It's about a ten mile swim and I'm sure most people would tire before they reached the other side," he said to her.

"We could get a boat then," Tara said.

He chuckled and pointed to the trees.

"I'm sure they have cameras up in the trees here, love, both here and on the Canadian side. They wouldn't leave this place unguarded," he said.

Tara gasped when Alan ran over and picked her up under her arms.

"You wanna go to Canada?" he said, swinging her around in a circle. "That's what I wanna do!"

"Quit!" Tara squealed as everyone laughed.

"Oops, tripped on a rock!"

Tara laughed as Alan slowly fell back and they both toppled to the ground.

"Ow, I think I may have actually hit an actual rock when I hit the ground," Alan said.

They lay there for a moment staring up at the sky. Jack wandered over and bent down to look at them.

"What's wrong, are you crippled?" Jack said to Alan.

"No, my niece and I are staring at the clouds and finding pictures in them. I see a bunny!"

Tara pointed to a long thin cloud.

"I see a sonic screwdriver," she said.

"I see a couple of weirdos," Jack said, pointing down to them.

Rain walked over to them. She walked up to Alan and planted her feet on either side of his face. Bringing them in tightly, she made a vise.

"Um, what are you doing?" Alan said while Tara giggled.

"Keeping your head locked in one place so you'll get a stiff neck."

"If you don't go away, you'll be in the one in pain because I'll plant my fist in your womanly area," Alan said.

"Fair enough," Rain said, shrugging.

Alan looked at Tara as she walked towards the Doctor.

"Your mum is a loony, never forget that."

"You're the loony," Tara said.

"No, you're the loony!"

"No, you are!"

"No, you are!" Alan said.

"No, you are!"

Alan looked up at Jack when he said that.

"Shouldn't you be off somewhere enjoying something with Ianto?" he asked.

"And miss the you're a loony argument, no way!" Jack replied.

Alan sighed and looked at Tara.

"He's bothering us," Alan said.

"Yeah, well, you're bothering me."

"Am not!" Alan said.

"Are too!" Tara shot back.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

They were both cut off when the Doctor came over and put his hands on their mouths.

"There's an ibis with feathers the color of clouds nestled on the bank nearby and I would like to look at it without it getting spooked and flying away. Your argument will no doubt spook the ibis with feathers the color of clouds so hush and be quiet and contemplate the day and all the beauty it holds," he said in a soft voice.

He took his hands off their mouth and walked back to the tree. Alan watched him for a moment before looking at Tara.

"Let's go strangle the ibis, what ya say?"

"Okay," Tara said between giggles.

Madison came up to them with Rose.

"Lazy bums," Madison said.

"And prooooooooud of it!" Alan replied.

Rose bent over and stared at his face.

"Ooo, suddenly the view got a trillion times lovelier," Alan said.

Rose gave him an evil grin, turned around and mooned him.

"Then the view suddenly went downhill from there," Alan said as they giggled. "But then again, it is Rose's buttcheeks so it can't be all that bad…"

"Um, what's going on?"

Alan frowned and looked at Tara.

"How d'ya mean?" Alan asked her.

Tara turned on her side so he could see the back of her head.

"What's in my hair?" she said.

They all bent over to have a look. Alan snickered.

"A great big centipede," he said matter-of-factly.

"Well, get it out of there!" Tara shrieked.

"Oh come now, it's not doing any harm. Most likely thought you were a log."

"Get it out!" Tara squealed as the centipede turned direction and went up to the top of her head.

"Oh for the love of Rassilon," Alan said as he plucked it out. "There, ya enormous baby, the killer 'Pede is gone. Happy now?"

"Yes!"

She squealed when Alan grabbed her, pulled her close and rolled over to his left side.

"Better view over here!" he said to her.

"Quit!"

He rolled back with her as she shrieked.

"Then again, much better view here!" he said.

He lay with her, holding her close.

"You know what?" he said in her ear.

"What?"

He grinned an evil grin.

"Tickle bug's a comin'," he purred in her ear.

He laughed when she tried to squirm out of his grasp.

"Struggle all you like but it shall all be for naught," he said airily. "I shall tickle thee in a moment or two."

"Mommy, help!" Tara said to her mother who was now standing with the Doctor by the tree.

"You're not going to get to see the ibis, are you?" Rain asked the Doctor.

"No, that's pretty much ruined by mouthy one and two over there," the Doctor said.

He glanced over and noticed Rose, Madison and Jack were still gathered around them watching.

"Ask one of them to help ya, Star. They're just standing there doing nothing."

"I'm enjoying the show," Jack said to him.

"Okay, then where has your husband gone to?" the Doctor said, looking around.

He noticed Ianto was thirty feet away sitting at a picnic table while he watched the water. The Doctor nudged Rain.

"Come, Latara, Ianto has the right idea," he said to her.

"Daddy! Wait!" Tara said as they walked away.

The Doctor let out a sigh and rolled his eyes.

"Wait for me, Love, gotta sort this out over here," he said, pointing to Tara.

He walked over and smacked Alan on the top of the head.

"Bad Alan, behave!" he said, sternly. "Drop it, drop it now, I say. Drop the Tara before you chew it up!"

Everyone laughed when Alan gave him a shocked look.

"The hell you think I am, old man? I'm not your bleedin' doggie!" he said to him.

"Let my daughter go then."

"Fine, have your stinkin' daughter," he said, letting go.

He pretended to sulk as he folded his arms over his chest and rolled to his other side. Jack looked at everyone when they heard his exaggerated weeping and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, Alan, that's enough," Jack said, lightly kicking his head.

The weeping ceased and Alan lay still for a moment before he rolled over onto his back.

"Excuse me but my head is not a kickball or a button you can slap, it's a delicate thing housing a delicate mind, so please stop abusing it!"

Rain, who was walking away with her husband, looked back at him and then looked at the Doctor.

"Hang on, I feel an urge to kick something now," she said to him.

Alan quickly got to his feet and sauntered off towards the bank.

"Sorry, Rainy, beat ya to the punch!"

"Nuts!" Rain said to the Doctor as they walked towards Ianto.

Tara got up and dusted herself off as Madison, Rose and Jack followed Rain and the Doctor. Alan was standing by the riverbank staring out at the Canadian shore and she walked over to stand beside him. Both of them stared at the water for a moment before Alan suddenly lifted up his black t-shirt.

"HEY, YOU CANADIANS OVER THERE! GET ALOAD OF THIS STUDLY BODY!" he screamed as he pointed to his chest. "BET YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THIS OVER IN MAPLE LEAF LAND!"

"Bro, can you be any more annoying?" Rain called to him.

"Yes, I can as a matter of factly."

He took a big breath.

"USA!" he screamed. "I'M NOT FROM HERE BUT SINCE I'M STANDING HERE, USA ALL THE WAY, WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He grinned at Rain who rolled her eyes.

"You're so good to put up with him," she said, patting Rose's hand.

"I'm used to it by now," Rose said, shrugging. "Be surprised if he didn't yell and scream something to the Canadian border."

"IF THERE'S ANYONE OVER THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE LISTENING TO ME, WATCH THIS!"

He spun around, bent over and mooned Canada as Tara giggled. She turned and followed his lead.

"Oh Christ, here goes, Tara's gonna end up just like him, I know it," Rain said to her husband.

Both Alan and Tara wiggled their butts while they continued to moon Canada. Alan frowned when suddenly the others at the picnic table started calling out to them, telling them to stand up.

"Why? What's wrong?"

He suddenly heard a loud humming and both he and Tara looked around and quickly stood up when a border patrol speedboat slowly passed by the shore. It was so close they could see a blonde haired woman and red haired man staring at them intently as they slowly went by.

"Hi!" Alan said, waving. "Just being silly. I wasn't mooning you and I'm not gonna swim for Canada so don't arrest me!"

Rose sighed.

"My husband has no inhibitions whatsoever," she said to the others.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

After another twenty minutes, they headed back to their car so they could continue on. As everyone got in, Rose sat back down in the passenger side seat. She looked around when she saw Alan climbing in beside Ianto and Madison.

"Oi, you're not driving?" she said to him.

"No, I am," Jack said, getting in beside her.

He gave her a charming smile as he closed the door. He frowned when Rose started to get back out.

"Where are you going?" he said.

"Well, I figured Ianto would wanna sit by ya?"

"No, stay there, we don't have to pair up all the time, stay where you are."

Rose shrugged and closed the door. Jack started the car up and drove away. He drove slowly while they looked around but the park was mostly made up of scattered trees, picnic tables, trash cans and barbecue grills so after about ten minutes they decided to find the exit and go somewhere else. As they looked for the exit, Jack suddenly burst into song.

"It's a beautiful day with a lovely sun," he crooned. "We're just drivin' around havin' some fun."

Everyone giggled when Rose gave him an odd look.

"Gee, Jack, didn't know you were capable of singin'," she said.

"I'm capable of many things, my little Dishwashing Liquid."

"What?" Rose said as everyone laughed harder. "Dishwashing Liquid? Where'd that come from?"

"Off the top of my head, impressive huh?" he said smoothly.

"I…suppose," Rose said hesitantly.

Jack gave her a big toothy grin and went back to singing while he drove.

"Oh, it's a beautiful sunny day. We've all come here to play. We'll survive anything, come what may. It's too bad the Doctor ain't gay."

"What?" the Doctor said while Jack sniggered.

"Yeah, what?" Ianto added, eyeing him.

"Are you feeling alright, Jack?" Rose asked him.

"Never better, my Hershey's Kiss."

Rose gave him a long hard stare. Everyone laughed as she looked at the others and spun her index finger around her ear.

"Not polite to question other people's sanity, Rosie Posy," Jack said.

Rose regarded him silently for a moment.

"You and Alan planned this, didn't ya?"

"Planned what, my little Bilbo Baggins?" Jack said.

Rose looked back at Alan who was giggling uncontrollably.

"I needed a bit of a rest and I was concerned that you'd miss my usual wit if I wasn't up there driving so Jack volunteered to act like me while he filled in."

"Oh bloody hell," Rose said, rolling her eyes while everyone else laughed.

"What's the matter, Rose Ruby Romper Room, don't like my imitation of your husband?" Jack said.

Rose's head fell into her hands and she shook her head.

"MORE THAN A WOMAN," Jack said in a screechy, high-pitched voice. "MORE THAN A WOMAN TO ME-HEE!"

"Okay, you can stop that now," Rose said to Jack.

"Stop what, Noodle Doodle? Oh, you mean my splendiferous impression of your hubby? I'm just getting started, Dixie Doodle Strudle Poodle."

Everyone laughed as Rose feigned exasperation but even she was giggling. Suddenly, Jack slammed on the breaks in front of a small maroon block building.

"LOOKIE, IT'S THE COMFORT STATION!" Jack shrieked as he pointed to it. "I MUST GO AND DROP SOME TROUSER CHILI. EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME!"

He opened the door, jumped out and ran to it with his hands in the air while he screamed, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the others giggled while he ran inside.

"Gotta admit, he's bang on with his Alan impression," the Doctor said.

"Yes, he is, which worries me since my Rose might fancy him more than me now," Alan said.

"I doubt that very seriously," Rose replied.

They heard Jack before they saw him because he ran out screaming "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" at the top of his lungs. He ran back to the car and slammed down into the driver's seat.

"Miss me, Starlight?" he said with a wide smile. "I'm sorry if I failed to amuse you for two minutes but I was in there shittin' bricks. You oughta see that two foot sausage poopy I crapped out. Had to use the plunger and my hands to break it up so it'd go down the crapper and…"

"Okay, JackAlan, I get the picture," Rose said while everyone else laughed.

Jack slammed the door and stared at her intently.

"I'm a stud, d'ya know that? A big old manly stud!"

"Just drive, ya loon," Rose said to him.

Jack put the car in gear and headed out of the park. Rose shook her head when Jack began to sing loudly again.

"I'm studly, yes I am. I'm studly, oh hot damn! I'm studly, thank ya ma'am. I'm studly even when I'm ridin' the tram!"

"God, you're so dead on with the impersonation, it's scary," Rain said to Jack.

"What's that, Rainy Painy the Insany? I couldn't hear ya because normally I tune out Dildos and Douchebags."

Alan sniggered.

"Good one, Jack!" he said to him.

Jack began to whistle as he jerked the steering wheel left and right. Everyone laughed when the van began to go back and forth in a zigzag pattern down the street.

"Okay, that's enough of that, Jack. You're gonna get us killed," Rose said.

"Nonsense, Homie, this here's my pimpmobile and I take good care of it, yo!" Jack said.

He straightened out the car and headed for the bridge. He let out an exaggerated gasp.

"A BRIDGE! METHINKS IT LEADS TO SOMEWHERE BUT WHERE DOES IT LEAD? ME WANTS TO SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Jack screamed as he turned a sharp right towards it.

He looked behind him and flipped the vees.

"FUCK YOU, ISLAND; I DON'T LIKE YOU SO I'M OUTTA HERE!"

He quickly turned back around and whistled loudly while he sped the car up.

"I swear, Jack, if you wreck this car…" Rose said.

"Nonsense, Poopily-doopily, I'm an excellent driver!" Jack yelled.

The van reached the bridge and headed down it.

"A bridge, a bridge, we're on a sodding bridge, bah-ba-ba-ba-la-da-da-dadada!" Jack sang.

He pulled over to the side and stopped. He looked around to see if anyone was coming.

"Okay, Doc, I'm worn out from impersonatin' Alan, your turn."

"Excuse me?" the Doctor said.

"Come on, Doc, I did my take on Alan. Let's see yours, we still have that bet going as to who can be the wackiest today right?"

Rain and Tara giggled when a mischievous grin spread over the Doctor's face and he opened the sliding door.

"Go Daddy!" Tara said as he got out and ran around to the passenger side.

Jack switched places with him and got in beside Tara and Rain. Tara giggled when the Doctor flung himself into the passenger side and slammed the door shut as he stared at Rose with a wild eyed stare.

"Hi," he said.

Rose giggled.

"Hi, Alan."

They giggled when the Doctor stared at her quietly for a moment. Then he put his index finger in the center of her forehead.

"Got a zit there," he said.

He put the car in gear and drove off as Rose sniggered.

"So, Starlight, where shall we go? Some place where we can have tons o' sex?" the Doctor said as he drove. "Cause my ding-a-ling needs to do its thing!"

"Shouldn't we wait until later…dear?" Rose said.

"Nonsense, Shamu, my wang needs to do its thang otherwise it might melt into a puddle of goo."

Rose giggled when he gave her an intense stare for a moment.

"Hear that, I rhymed just then. I'm not only the complete stud package; I'm William Bloody Bleedin' Shakespeare!"

Rose bent over in silent laugher as everyone else except the Doctor laughed loudly. The Doctor noticed no one up ahead so he sped up.

"Gotta move before my mojo rots!" he said as he stared at the road intently. "I need to service my spousal unit and make her SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!"

He gave her an insane grin as everyone howled with laughter.

"Scream as in the scream I did just then, dontcha know," he said to Rose. "I was illustrating what I want you to do in the BOUDIOR later, k?"

The bridge ended.

"THANK GOD, THE BRIDGE DIDN'T COLLAPSE AND KILL ME! I'M MUCH TOO IMPORTANT AND STUDLY TO DIE!" the Doctor yelled.

He made a sharp right and turned off into a small park. He drove through the park to a shaded area, stopped and turned the car off. Rose laughed as he swiveled in his seat, leaned back against the window and folded his hands in his lap.

"Well?" he said after a moment.

"Well, what?" Rose said.

"Service me, woman! We're here in the shade in the park now pleasure this boy-o!" the Doctor said pointing repeatedly at his crotch.

"Gee, should we? There's a child here," Rose said, gesturing to Tara.

Tara giggled when her father leaned up and stared at her intently for a moment before leaning back.

"Eh, she's old enough. Besides, she has to learn about the birds and the bees sooner or later."

He sniggered when Tara let out an, "Ewww." He leaned back up and stared at her.

"None of your cheek, Tara Firma, before I flick a bogey on you," he said.

He leaned back and tapped his foot while he gave Rose a pointed look. Everyone in the car giggled as the Doctor looked at his watch, held it up to Rose's face and pointed to it. Then he pointed repeatedly to his crotch while he said in an exasperated voice, "I'm…waitiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin-GAH!"

"No, I don't wanna," Rose said.

"Ex-cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse ME?" he yelled as they giggled. "Did I hear something defiant come out of your gobby gob just then? How dare you disobey his royal majesty, Prince Dong Schlong the Twenty Third!"

Alan sniggered at that.

"This is great, I'm picking up new material just by listening to you lot," he said.

"I will not be denied, Rose Timelord. When you married me, you were obligated to do certain things like be my willing slave who jumps at my every command. I am Lord, I am God, I am…spent."

They laughed when the Doctor suddenly slumped over and began to snore loudly. He leaned back up and sighed.

"Okay, Ianto, you're next!" the Doctor said.

Ianto gave him a shocked look.

"Me?"

"Yeah, go Ianto, show us your inner Alan," Jack said, looking back at him.

Ianto grinned when everyone began to chant his name and they cheered when he smiled broadly, got up and headed for the sliding door. The Doctor hopped out and ran around while he walked around to the driver's side. He got in and ran his fingers through his hair, mussing it up. Then he slammed the door and Rose giggled when he gave her an intense stare.

"What are you laughing about, Wang Doodle?" Ianto said. "No one laughs at my majesty, certainly not my wife-o-rama!"

He turned the car back on.

"NOW!" he screamed as everyone giggled. "This is all well and good for normal people who wanna sit around on their lazy butts but I'm not a normal guy I'm me and me wanna go somewheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-RAH!"

He put the car in gear and started off.

"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Ianto screamed in a high-pitched voice as everyone chortled. "OH, the open road, the excitement of a new day and new discoveries, the fact that I'm the studliest thing to ever breathe air! All this combines for a fabulous road trip with moi!"

He let out an exaggerated gasp.

"I NEED A WHITE CASTLE!" Ianto screamed. "QUICK SOMEONE GET ME A FART BURGER!"

"I'll get it, Alan!" Madison said, reaching behind her.

"Oh, thank you muchly, Maddie. It's muchly, muchly appreciated!" Ianto said as he drove east.

Maddie handed a cheeseburger up to Jack who handed it up to Ianto. Ianto put it in Rose's lap.

"Get that out and feed my face, will ya, Sweet Cheeks?" Ianto said.

Rose sniggered. She took the cheeseburger out of the box.

"Here you go, Alan," she said sweetly as she held it up to him.

Ianto took a bite of it.

"OH, THAT IS ABOUT AS GOOD AS HEAVEN AND SEX, NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER!" he yelled.

He took another bite.

"SOD THAT, THIS IS BETTER THAN ANYTHING!" he yelled.

He took a third bite and finished it off.

"Nummy num num, thanks, Spousal Unit and part time burger holder," he said to her.

"You're welcome, Alan," Rose said.

Ianto glared at her.

"I didn't command you to speak, did I, huh?" he said.

"No, sorry."

"You should be. You're just as sorry as Rainy Painy the No Brainy back there."

Rain glanced back at Alan who was listening with a huge grin on his face.

"You're just loving this, aren't you?" she said.

"Too right I am," he replied. "I'm not offended at all. I think it's amusing listening to you lot interpret me."

Tara looked behind her at her father.

"Daddy, can we stop somewhere and get something to drink?" she asked.

"Ask Alan up there, not me," he said, pointing to Ianto.

Tara grinned.

"Alan!" she said to Ianto.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?" Ianto said while Rose sniggered.

"Can we stop somewhere and get something to drink?"

"Noooooooooooooooo."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not thirsty."

"I am."

"Well, tough, I'm the only one that matters so you can just drink your own saliva!"

The real Alan snickered at that and Ianto looked back and winked at her.

"Yes, we'll stop somewhere and get something to drink. I'd like a coffee myself."

"Gee, why am I not surprised?" Jack said.

Ianto stopped the Alan imitation and drove on while he concentrated on finding somewhere where they could get something to drink.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

They drove further down until Ianto found a McDonalds.

"Do you wanna go through the drive through?" Ianto asked.

"No, let's go in, I need to use the bathroom," Rain said.

"Why didn't you do that when we were back in the park?" Jack said.

"Because I didn't feel like catching a million diseases from the dirty toilet seat, that's why?" she said as he chuckled.

"And what makes you think McDonalds's toilet seat will be cleaner?" Jack asked.

"Because I know that they have people there that clean it every few hours," she said as Ianto parked in a parking space near the door.

They opened the doors and all of them got out while Ianto pocketed the keys. He slid out of the car seat and stretched his back, letting out a groan while he did. Everyone went past him into the restaurant. Tara was behind all of them and as she was going in, she looked back at Ianto who was closing the car door. Then something caught her eye and she stopped, frowning in a puzzled silence. Ianto stopped when he got to her side.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I think something's wrong with that lady over there," Tara said, pointing past him. "She looks sick."

Ianto looked where she was pointing and saw a young black lady dressed in tattered clothes. She was sitting on a bench, slumped over. She was wearing long black trousers, a white short-sleeved t-shirt and dirty converse tennis shoes. Her short black hair was plastered to her face and her eyes were slightly glazed. There was sweat running down her forehead as she sat out in the broiling sun. Ianto and Tara walked over to her.

"Ma'am? Are you alright?" Ianto said when they reached her.

The woman slowly lifted her head. She nodded but Ianto could tell that she wasn't fine in the least. He put a hand on her shoulder.

" Are you feeling dizzy?" he asked her.

" A little," she admitted.

He took in the condition of her clothes.

"Are you homeless?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Do you have anywhere to stay?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Been walkin'," she muttered. "Just tired."

"Do you want something to drink?" Ianto asked.

She nodded. Ianto reached in and pulled out a five dollar bill.

"Tara, run inside and get her a cup of water and a sandwich for me to give to her, will you?"

Tara nodded, took the money and ran inside.

"What's your name?" Ianto asked her.

"Juliet."

"Hi, I'm Ianto. Listen, come over here with me. You can sit in our people carrier and I'll run the air conditioning so you can cool off, okay?"

"I don't wanna be a bother."

"You're not a bother," he said, holding up his hand. "I think you have the beginnings of heat exhaustion and I want you to get out of the hot sun before it turns into heat stroke. So follow me, okay?"

Juliet nodded and groaned as she slowly got to her feet. Ianto gave her a look of concern when he noticed her hobbling with a pained face.

"How long have you been walking?" he asked, holding her arm.

"Half the night and most of the day," she said wearily. "The only shelter that's open is one where they make you sleep on chairs and I can't do that because I have a bad back so I've been trying to find this place I've heard about that's north of here in the suburbs."

"Do you have the address?" Ianto asked.

She nodded.

"Well, we'll take you there. I don't want you out in this hot sun, you'll die before too long," he said, unlocking the door.

He reached in and unlocked the sliding door just as the Doctor came back outside with Tara. Tara handed Juliet a cheeseburger and a small cup of ice water.

"Thank ya, baby," she said, smiling.

The Doctor bent down next to Ianto and smiled warmly.

"Hi, my name's the Doctor."

"You're a doctor?"

He nodded.

"Yes, I am. Are you alright?"

Juliet glanced at Ianto who nodded encouragingly. She told the Doctor and Tara what was wrong with her while the Doctor removed a small white first aid kit from his pocket. He pulled out a tiny ear thermometer and took her temperature.

"99.5," yes, you're definitely overheated," he said to her.

He stared at the heavy clothes.

"Is this the only set of clothes you own?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Well, we'll take you somewhere and get you something more appropriate for summer," he said to her.

"You don't have to, Sir."

"I know but you can't walk around in this heat in these heavy clothes, you're burning up now and you're gonna collapse soon," he said. "Don't worry; we do this sort of thing all the time. Just go ahead and eat and if you don't mind, I'd like to take a look at your feet."

He untied her shoes and took them off, ignoring the pungent odor of her socks. He slipped them off and shoved them inside her shoes. Gently, he lifted up her feet and winced when he saw the cracked skin and calluses and blisters on and between her toes. He cursed silently, his hearts going out to this woman. Ianto and Tara watched as he pulled out the tissue rejuvenator. While he was doing that, Ianto felt someone watching him and looked over at the front door. Madison and Rain were standing with the door open watching what was going on. Ianto walked over to them when he noticed the puzzled looks on their faces and explained everything to them and to Rose, Jack and Alan who came up behind them with their drinks in cardboard holders. They glanced at Juliet and looked at each other and went back inside with Ianto following behind them. Tara knelt down beside her father who was debating whether or not to use the alien technology on Juliet's feet.

"Listen, Juliet, I have a way to heal your feet up completely, okay? It's something I invented so don't be surprised if your feet turn out good as new when I'm through."

Juliet nodded and he started using the rejuvenator on her feet, getting rid of every callous, blister and crack that he could find.

_I'll have to use this on her ankles too,_ he thought to Tara. _See how swollen they are from all the walking she's done?_

_I'm glad I noticed her, Daddy,_ she thought back.

_Me too. I don't think she would have lasted much longer in this heat,_ he thought.

Rain came outside holding a small sack and a large Coke in her hands.

"Here, Baby, here's your drink," she said, handing Tara the Coke.

She gave the bag to Juliet.

"Here's another cheeseburger and some fries and an apple pie for you," she said.

"Thank you, Ma'am."

"Rain, I'm Rain, this is my husband, the Doctor, and this is my daughter, Tara," she said.

Juliet nodded hello and Rain squeezed her shoulder before bending down beside her husband.

"Oh God," she said, staring at her feet.

"Yeah, I'm healing them up now. I wanna take her shopping as well so she can get some summer clothes."

"Good," Rain said.

The Doctor finished healing her right foot and examined it. Satisfied it was completely healed; he put the rejuvenator against her right ankle and made the swelling go down. Once that was done, he started on her left foot. Meanwhile, everyone else came back out with drinks and some more food for Juliet. Rose got into the van and arranged the food in the back so someone was able to sit back there and give Juliet some room. While she was doing that, Rain arranged the vent so the air conditioning was blowing right on Juliet and took her temperature again.

"99 degrees," she said to the Doctor.

"Good, it was 99.5 ten minutes ago, it's going down," he said to her.

"Are you feeling lightheaded?" Rain asked her.

"Not anymore," Juliet replied.

"Do you think you'll be alright? Do you need to go to the hospital?" Rain asked.

"No, I think I'll be alright now, thanks."

Rain nodded. Alan came up beside her and handed Juliet a medium Coke.

"Hi, I'm Alan, I'm his twin brother," he said, indicating the Doctor. "I got you this. Try to eat and drink as much as you can so we can get your blood sugar back up, yeah?"

Juliet nodded. Alan took the empty water cup from her and threw it away while the Doctor finished working on her foot and started on her ankle. Once he was finished, he helped Juliet to her feet and asked her to walk around for him. He smiled when she walked with no problem. His smile widened when he saw her ear to ear grin.

"Thank you so much, doctor…"

"It's just the Doctor. It's a nickname others have given me," he said. "And you're welcome. We're not from Detroit as you may have guessed. We're driving around, seeing the sights. If you don't mind, you're welcome to join us. We'll get you to where you need to be, of course, but I wanna make sure you're well and truly alright before we part company, is that okay?"

Juliet nodded.

"Brilliant. Nice to meet you. And the rest of the family…this is Jack, Madison and this is Rose."

"Hi," they all said in unison.

Juliet smiled and waved. The Doctor helped her inside and Rain and Tara sat down beside her. Alan got in the driver's side and Rose got in beside him. The Doctor, Madison and Ianto got in behind Juliet, Rain and Tara and Jack got in the back.

"Ohoho, I'm sitting here with the burgers," he said, rubbing his hands.

"Oi, leave those burgers alone!" the Doctor said as everyone laughed.

They closed the doors.

"Right, first off, let's find a clothing shop so we can get some new clothes for our new friend," he said to everyone.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

They headed east again through a more run down part of the city, abandoned and decaying buildings were on either side of the street and trash littered the sidewalk. The Doctor stared at the garbage with disgust and slowly shook his head. Everyone was keeping their eyes open for a clothing store while the Doctor spoke to Juliet.

"Do you have any family?" he asked her.

"I do but they don't want anything to do with me now."

"Why?" Tara asked.

Juliet gave her a sad smile.

"Because I used to be a crack addict and I lied and stole from them to feed my addiction. I got clean and tried to make amends but they had their fill of me."

"Are they here in the city?" Alan asked her.

"No, they live up in Dearborn. I lived there too until I lost my house. Lived with a man while I was smoking crack and he beat and abused me until I finally got away from him. Now I'm trying to get back on my feet but if you're thinkin' there's a family member I can stay with, there isn't."

"Well, maybe someday they'll talk to you again," Tara said to her.

"I hope so, child, but right now I'm not gonna stir up anything. I'll let them come to me if they want to be in my life again," Juliet said.

Rose frowned and looked at Juliet.

"Is there a Wal-Mart around here?" she asked.

"In Detroit? Lord no, there's nothing like that. You gotta go out to the suburbs before you find one of those big stores."

Everyone stared at her in shock.

"No Wal-Mart? I thought you couldn't go five feet without bumping into one," Rain said. "Crap. Well, we'll have to try to find something but in the meantime at least you're in here where it's cool."

"I thank ya for all this," Juliet said.

"No thanks necessary. I'm just thankful we found you before you died," the Doctor replied. "It's far too hot for anyone to be walking around in heavy clothes like that."

"I know but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to survive," Juliet replied.

The Doctor nodded.

"Trust me, I know all about that," he said to her.

"I was the same way," Tara said to her. "These Satanist killed my mom and abused me till I ran away and became homeless and my mommy and daddy found me."

"No, you found us," the Doctor corrected.

"Jesus," Juliet said. "You poor child."

"It's okay now cause mommy and daddy and everyone are great. 'Cept for the weirdo driving the car up there. He's a meanie."

"Rose, can you throw Tara up here so she can drive the car and be the weirdo," Alan said to his wife.

"I'm just kidding. He's fun to be around," Tara said. "We're all having fun driving around."

"That's good," Juliet said. "Where ya'll from though?"

"England," the Doctor said. "Some of us are from America but we live in England."

Juliet frowned.

"Why'd ya come to Detroit? No offense but there's not that much to do anymore. The city's run down and there's a lot of crime. Not the type of place you wanna take a vacation."

"We were just curious. I came here in the 1960's and I wanted to return and show my family the city."

Juliet stared at his youthful face.

"Well, ya'll must have been a baby then because you don't look that old," she said to him.

"Oh, I'm older than I look. I have a very youthful face," he said as everyone giggled.

"I'll say. You don't look much older than late thirties," Juliet said.

"Yeah, I'm in my early fifties. I came here as a small child," the Doctor said.

"Lord, I wish I could look as good as you when I reach fifty but I have a feeling I won't," she said.

The Doctor frowned when Alan suddenly slowed the car down and began to pull over.

"Brother?" he said.

"Look out the windows; did we just cross into a completely different part of the state?" Alan said.

They looked out the windows and noticed that unlike the run down, trashy section they had been driving through now they were in a nice, well kept section of the city with nice homes and green trees and shrubs everywhere. They looked back and their eyes widened when they noticed that there was almost an invisible dividing line between the run down part of the city and well kept part.

"This is the beginning of the suburbs," Juliet explained. "Sorry to say, but most of the black people live in the city and the whites live in the suburbs and you can tell which is which. This is Grosse Pointe South, the beginning of the Grosse Pointe area."

They all looked around.

"It's like we wandered into a completely different city now," Alan said. "Sorry, mates, it was a bit jarring driving through all those rundown buildings and rubbish and now we get all this."

He looked at Juliet.

"You said the shops are here?" he said.

"Lord no, they're further up. There's nothing here but houses," Juliet said.

Alan nodded. He glanced back and pulled out into traffic. He drove for two miles and saw a sign that indicated he was now in Grosse Pointe Farms. His eyes boggled when he noticed the houses were now even bigger, fancier and most of them had black wrought iron fences around them. He slowed down again and pulled over to the curb. They noticed a woman and man on the other side of the street pushing their baby in a pram. The man was dressed in a grey polo shirt and blue jean shorts but the woman had on a fancy long green summer dress with high heeled sandals.

"Wow, she's dressed up for someone that's just going on a constitutional," Alan said to Rose.

The woman noticed them. Alan smiled and waved and was taken aback when the woman gave them a look that could melt ice.

"What? What did I do?" Alan muttered.

"You're not from around here, "Juliet said. "Lot of these folks don't like outsiders, especially if they're not rich."

"Well, up your nose with a rubber hose, you frock wearing baaaaaaaaaaa….iiiiiiii….chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

They all giggled when Alan grinned at all of them.

"You get my meaning. Anyway, let's go on and find a shop somewhere," he said, pulling back out into traffic.

He drove on, glancing at the elegant houses and well kept surroundings. He noticed the street ended up ahead with a gated community on the left side and a side street on the right. He turned right and noticed three blocks up ahead was a large lake with sailboats sailing across it.

"Aha, this is more like it," he said, pointing to it. "We'll stop for a moment and have a look-see."

"If you're thinkin' of going up and parkin' on the riverbank, you can't," Juliet said. "They don't allow folks to park or stand there."

"What?" Alan said, glancing back at her. "Why?"

Juliet shrugged.

"Rich folks don't want people standing there all day blockin' their view, I guess," she said.

"Um…Call me nuttier than a squirrel's winter hidey hole but I'm pretty sure the rich folks don't own the lake," Alan said angrily. "I don't believe in keeping others from seeing the wonders of nature if it's not a part of their property."

He parked just before he got to the other road in a shady spot near the curb.

"I wanna have a look see at this posh community myself," he said to the others. "If they don't allow us to park then I'm gonna stand there and defy them and get a view of the lake. They wanna arrest me for standing and looking, fine."

Grumbling about selfish people, he opened the door. The others glanced at each other and started to do the same.

"Will you be alright here, Juliet?" the Doctor asked her. "We won't be a minute."

"That's fine, I'm better now, Doctor. Go on ahead, I'm gonna take a nap."

He squeezed her shoulder and got out the side door. They shut the doors and walked up to the intersection while Juliet leaned her head against the side window and shut her eyes. As the group walked up, they noticed a man in front of them was out watering his lawn. He locked eyes with them and glared at them before he walked behind his high hedge, hiding himself from view.

"What?" Jack said. "Is he afraid we're gonna jump him or something?"

Alan grinned as they passed by the hedge.

"HELLO IN THERE!" he yelled. "NICE DAY FOR A GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK!"

They walked up to the intersection and turned left. Their eyes bulged when they saw mansion after mansion after mansion.

"Blimey, we hit the big time," Alan muttered.

They were on the left side of the road. The right side had no pavement, just a thin strip of land and the lake beyond. They noticed a sign on the other side and stopped to read it.

No Parking  
No Fishing  
No Standing.

"No standing," Tara said. "Dang! Juliet wasn't kiddin' about them not wanting people to stay there and look at the lake."

"Oh my God," Jack said, feigning panic. "We're standing everyone! Hurry before we get shot by crazed people!"

All of them ran for about twenty feet before they slowed and went back to walking. The houses on the left side were all big grand mansions with well manicured lawns and neatly trimmed hedges. Cars zoomed by them as they walked and a few people in the cars taunted them as they passed.

"I'm so glad I'm not filthy rich and snobby," Jack said, rolling his eyes.

They slowed when they saw a university nestled in between the mansions. They looked up at a sign on a pole.

"Grosse Pointe University," Jack said.

"Wonder what they teach?" Madison said.

Jack grinned.

"Probably how to wear polo shirts, play croquet and be rude to your lessers," he said.

They started to walk up the sloping hill in front of them to get a better look at the university when they saw a sign posted near the top of it.

PRIVATE PROPERTY. NON-STUDENTS WILL BE ARRESTED AND PROSECUTED.

"Jesus, they're really anal here," Rose said.

The Doctor grinned. He did a bunny hop onto the grass and bounced back.

"There! I trespassed on your university! Arrest me!" he yelled as they laughed.

They walked on.

"Gee what a shame. We won't find out what Grosse Pointe University teaches," Ianto said.

"Personally I wouldn't go to any university that had Grosse in its name," Jack said while they snickered.

As they walked, they noticed a few people walking and riding bikes. Some glared at them or ignored them but most said or nodded a hello as they went past.

"Nice to know not everyone's a snob here," Rain said.

They kept on walking and saw a couple of teenage girls on bikes coming the other way. The lead girl's eyes bugged out and she let out a giant gasp.

"HI-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She said in a high-pitched squeal while she waved her left arm recklessly around her head.

"Um, hi," the Doctor said to her.

"OOOOOOOOO," the girl squealed to her friend. "HE SAID HI-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

They stood still and let them pass. The two girls slowed their pedaling and looked at them. They saw Tara standing behind the Doctor.

"HI-EEEEEEEEEEEE LA-DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" They said to her.

"Hi, Dorkbutts," Tara muttered as the others snickered.

The two girls looked back at them.

"GOODBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LA-DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she squealed.

"Goodbye disturbing child who's obviously consumed too much LSD," Alan said as they started walking again.

As they walked, they kept glancing at the lake across the busy road.

"Be nice to actually go over there and enjoy it but apparently we have to keep walking lest we end up in jail," Alan said.

Rose suddenly giggled.

"What, Starlight?"

She pointed to a marina about a half mile away. There were about fifty sailboats and speedboats and a tall white lighthouse that jutted up above them. Beside it was an enormous white two story building and a dock that surrounded it.

"Okay, you're not allowed to stand over on that side but they have a marina there. How do you get into your boat then if you can't stand around?"

"My guess is you stand at the very edge of the marina, run like hell, jump with all your might and the moment your bum slams down into your boat, you head towards the lake as fast as you possibly can," the Doctor said.

They walked a bit further.

"Um…anyone notice there are no benches around for people to sit on?" Jack said.

"No standing," Tara said to him.

"That's not standing, it's sitting and they didn't prohibit that," Jack replied.

They passed by two more bikers.

"Well no wonder everyone's in motion then. No one can stop and stand still," Madison said.

Alan suddenly jumped up, spun around and landed hard on his feet.

"STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU AAARE!" he sang loudly. "NOW FACE NORTH! THINK ABOUT DIRECTION, WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T NOW STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU WERE, NOW FACE WEST, THINK ABOUT DIRECTION WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEFORE!"

He waved at an elderly man and woman who had been walking towards him but now stopped and stared at him silently.

"Afternoon, lovely suburb," he said to them. "I was just singing about standing here even though that sign over there says not to on pain of death."

The man and woman glanced at each other, shook their heads and hurried past them.

"Buh-bye," Alan said when they were out of earshot.

"Well, as much as I'd like to continue the self tour of Poshville, I think we better head back and be on our way so we can find Juliet some clothes," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, we better check on her in case Paranoid Hedge Guy thought she was a monster threatening his very life and throttled her with a badminton racket," Alan replied.

They turned and headed back the way they came.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Juliet opened her eyes the minute they opened the doors.

"Back already, I figured you'd be gone awhile," he said as they climbed in.

"Nah, we got tired of seeing rich people," Jack replied as he got in the back.

Juliet snorted.

"I feel ya. That's why I avoid coming over this way," she said sitting up so Rain and Tara could sit beside her.

They closed the doors and Alan started up the car. Tara grabbed her cup from the cup holder in front of her.

"Yoink!" the Doctor said grabbing it from her.

"Hey!" she said, turning around as Alan drove off.

"I'm your daddy, I deserve the first sip," he said to her.

He took a sip and made a face.

"And most of it is water now," he said, handing it back to her.

He rolled his eyes when Tara took the edge of her t-shirt and wiped off the top of the straw.

"Oh, I don't have any killer germs," he said to her.

"Don't care; I don't want your cooties!"

She giggled and hunkered down when the Doctor leaned forward and stared at her intently over the seat.

"Sometime when you least expect it, revenge will come," he said ominously before he set back in his seat.

Tara glanced at Juliet and spun her finger around her ear while she chuckled. The Doctor leaned back up and his mouth dropped open when he saw what she was doing. Tara squealed and got down on the floor when he tried to tickle her armpit. He leaned back and looked at Ianto and Madison.

"She'll get hers, mark my words," he said to them as Tara sat back in her seat.

"At last, we found it!" Alan said as he pointed to the Wal-Mart sign.

He slowed down and pulled into the parking lot. He stared at Rose with wide-eyes.

"The only Wal-Mart in Michigan," he said in an ominous voice while she giggled.

He found a parking spot near the store and parked.

"Everybody out, let's go shopping because I'm sure this is the only Wal-Mart for hundreds of miles," he said as they climbed out.

The Doctor glanced at Juliet who hadn't moved.

"Aren't ya coming? We have to have you along so we can make sure the clothes fit," he said to her.

"I'm just nervous. I hate going inside places like this since people figure out pretty quick I'm homeless."

"I give you my word, anyone says anything to you, I'll punch their lights out," the Doctor said.

Juliet nodded and climbed out. The Doctor shut the sliding door and walked with her towards the entrance. When they went inside, a few people gave Juliet odd looks but no one said anything. The Doctor grabbed a shopping trolley and they headed towards the clothes section.

"Get whatever you want, I'm paying for it," he said to her.

"I don't know how to thank you, I'm so grateful to you for doing this."

"Awww, it's alright. I like helping people. It's what I do."

"Well, I wish others were just as kind as you were," she said.

"Well, in a way I know what you're going through because I was also homeless for awhile," he said to her as they walked.

"Really, where?"

"Well, it was a long way from here," the Doctor said to her.

"You don't like to talk about it?" she said.

The Doctor nodded.

"Yeah, for the longest time I dwelled on it but I've put it behind me and it's hard to think about it sometimes."

"I hear ya, it's hard being in the middle of it," she said.

"Yes, but you're a strong woman, Juliet. Fighting a crack addiction and winning it takes strength. Not to mention walking as far as you walked in heavy winter clothes."

"Well, I can't really carry much with me when I walk and it gets chilly at night even in the summertime. This summer has been pretty mild, we haven't had any ninety degree days yet and it gets down to near sixty at night," she said to him.

"Ooo," the Doctor said, making a face.

"Sorry, I know ya'll use Celsius in England but I'm not sure how to tell you the temperature in Celcius," she said sheepishly.

"That's okay, I'm pretty good at converting Celcius to Farenheit and I understand what you said," he told her.

They stopped when Tara walked up to him holding a little pink t-shirt with Eeyore on it.

"I think I'll get this," she said to him. "I like it."

"And how do you propose to get this Eeyore t-shirt?" the Doctor said.

"I have money from the allowance you give me," Tara said.

"Oh! Well, I was hoping that would be saved so you could go to university but go ahead and get Eeyore."

He chuckled when Tara gave him a playful swat on the arm. She held the t-shirt up in front of her body.

"What'd ya think? You like it?" she said.

The Doctor looked at Juliet.

"What is it with woman and their wanting to know my opinion on their clothes? Rose did that to me and my wife does it. Are women that self-conscious about their clothes that they have to get a man's opinion?"

"Just making sure we look good to ya," Juliet said, shrugging.

"Okay, well in that case, it looks fabuloso on you and you should definitely squander your university education money on it."

"Cool!" Tara said.

She fell in beside the two of them when they resumed walking.

"I think I'll get an Eeyore backpack to match it," she said as they walked. "I saw a pretty purple one on the way over here."

"Excuse me, but I don't believe we came in here to shop for you!" the Doctor said with mock anger.

"Well tough, I'm gonna shop anyway cause I'm a girl! Bye!"

The Doctor grinned when Tara giggled and ran off.

"She's so precious," Juliet said as they walked through the clothes section to get to the women's clothes.

"Yes, she is. She's my life. She's one of the best things that ever happened to me and I know I'd be devastated if something happened to her and I lost her forever. All of these people have become my whole world and I love them."

"Good, I'm glad. I'm glad you have a family that loves you especially if you have been homeless before," Juliet said.

They reached the women's section and she started looking through the racks while the Doctor walked around, examining everything. He glanced over when Alan ran up with a stuffed tiger, it was wearing a little blue ball cap with a big white D on it.

"Lookie, Brother, a Detroit Tigers plushie, isn't it cuuuuuuuuuuuute?"

He smushed it up against his cheek and grinned from ear to ear.

"Awwwwwwww, so softy cute and lovably squishy," he said.

He ran off while the Doctor snickered. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to Juliet.

"Sorry but is your brother gay?" she asked.

The Doctor bent over laughing at that.

"Blimey, um…sometimes I wonder," he said when he recovered enough to speak. "No, my brother's straight as far as I know. He's just a free spirit and loves to tease and have fun. He's a little overbearing if you don't know him but you get used to him after awhile. Frankly, I enjoy having him around. He helps keep everyone happy."

"That's good, I'm glad. You have a nice family, Doctor."

"Thank you."

He looked over and groaned when Rose came stomping over towards him as Juliet went back to looking for clothes.

"I swear, your brother," Rose said, walking up to him.

"Now what's he gone and done?" the Doctor said.

"He has a tiger plushie."

"I know, I saw it. He made a point of showing it to me."

"Yeah, well he's buying it now. And he's going to name it Scratch and it will be going with us everywheeeeeeeeeere we go," Rose said.

The Doctor vibrated with silent laughter.

"So why are you telling me this?" he said with amusement.

"Just wanted you to be aware of how daft he is, is all," Rose said, shrugging.

"I was sorta aware of that anyway, Rose," he said.

"Yeah, well he gets even barmier by the day," Rose replied.

She smiled at Juliet as she walked over to her.

"I love my husband but he's a big man child."

"Aren't they all?" Juliet said.

"Ahem!"

They giggled when the Doctor walked over to them.

"Wassat you say about man child?"

"Oh, like you aren't," Rose said, raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah, you're right, I am a man child," he said while they giggled. "But, Rose, I s'pose if my daughter can buy an Eeyore backpack, he can buy a tiger plushie and name it Scratch."

"Well at least an Eeyore backpack is appropriate for Tara's age," Rose said.

The Doctor heard Tara squeal and saw her running towards him while Alan followed waving the tiger around.

"Roar, my name is Scratch and I'm gonna eat you!" he said in a deep voice.

Juliet giggled when Tara ran to the Doctor's side and hid behind him. She was wearing the Eeyore backpack on her back and the Doctor pointed to it.

"I see you found that," he said.

"Yup, I did."

He noticed her empty hands.

"What happened to the shirt?"

"It's inside the…BACKPACK!" she squealed as Alan ran around the Doctor menacing her with the tiger.

Tara laughed when Alan picked her up from behind and swung her in a circle before setting her down again.

"Ah, I love swinging her around like that, good for the back muscles," he said, walking away.

The Doctor grinned, ran up to Tara and she squealed when he lifted her up and swung her in a circle.

"Yeah you're right; it does exercise the back muscles a bit."

Alan gave Rose an evil grin.

"You do and you'll regret it," Rose said.

She ran off when Alan pursued her.

"Ya'll got one big crazy family," Juliet said as she held up a pair of purple shorts in front of her.

"Yeah, but Daddy loves it," Tara said.

She giggled when he grabbed her from behind and gave her a tight hug.

"Yup, I do," he said.

"Daddy, gotta talk to ya," Tara whispered to him.

He bent into her ear.

"You want Juliet to come back with us and get a house like Linus did."

Tara eyed him.

"How'd ya know?" she whispered.

The Doctor cocked an eyebrow and leaned back into her ear.

"Because, my daughter with the two enormous hearts of pure one hundred percent gold, I would be concerned if you didn't come up with that idea," he whispered.

Tara giggled when he ended his statement by blowing into her ear.

"So can we?" she said softly.

The Doctor stared at her intently while Tara giggled. She laughed louder when he suddenly crossed his eyes and then smiled at her. He gave her a big kiss on the cheek and took her hand as he led her over to Juliet.

"My daughter has a question for you," the Doctor said to her.

"Um, I was wondering if you'd like to come back with us and live near our house," Tara said.

Juliet's eyes bulged out.

"In England?" she said.

The Doctor cleared his throat.

"Not exactly. I haven't been completely truthful with you because I have to be careful about what I say around strangers. But I like you and I would like you to come back with us as well. I can get you a house to live in. I did that for another friend of ours named Linus."

"Dang, how many homeless people have you helped?" Juliet said.

"Just you and Linus and technically Tara was homeless at the time we found her, so three," the Doctor said.

"For real? You wanna buy me a house?"

The Doctor nodded.

"We live in a very nice neighborhood and I have a large family that all live beside one another and we help take care and look out for each other. You wouldn't be alone and you wouldn't have to worry about walking several miles ever again."

Juliet was shocked into silence.

"Please, we like you and I don't want you to struggle anymore," Tara said. "Come with us and you can have a home and friends that love you."

"And if you still want to try to make amends with your family, I have a way for you to keep in touch if you need to," the Doctor said. "But in order to do all this, you…have to have a leap of faith and trust us because I have to tell you something that is a bit fantastical and it takes an open mind to hear it."

Juliet was confused but she nodded.

"I think I can do that. I try to keep an open mind about everything."

"Good because that's the way to be. Narrow mind is a dangerous thing," he said. "Which is why I don't go around telling everyone what I'm going to tell you. But right now, go ahead and finish picking out your clothes and when we're back in the people carrier, then I'll tell you our big secret."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

After Juliet picked out her clothes and the Doctor paid for them, Alan paid for his stuffed tiger and Tara paid for her t-shirt and backpack, they headed over to the restroom so she could change. Tara went in with her and emerged a moment later wearing the t-shirt with her backpack on her back.

"Ta-da!" she said, spinning around.

"Oooo, lookie, she got a depressed donkey on her chest now," Alan said, bending over to stare at it.

"His name's Eeyore," Tara said.

"Really? I thought his name was Roger for some reason," Alan muttered while she giggled. "Isn't he from that obscure children's book, Gervais the Poop or something like that?"

While they were waiting on Juliet, the Doctor filled them in on what they were going to do.

"Ah! See guys, I told ya, I told ya Tara would wanna bring her back to Nova," Jack said when he was finished telling them."So we're gonna do it then?"

"If she wants to go, yes," the Doctor said, shrugging.

"Can she come with us to the movie tonight then, Daddy?"

The Doctor slapped his forehead with the palm of his head.

"Bugger, I forgot you wanted to do that," he said.

"Movie?" Jack said.

"I asked Daddy if we could go see the Harry Potter movie at the GM building tonight."

"Which one is it?" Jack asked,"Harry Potter gets his pubes?"

"Jack!" the Doctor said as everyone else bent over laughing.

"Well, I don't know the titles of the books, I never read em," Jack said. "I just know it's Harry Potter and the something something. I guessed pubes."

"Why does that not surprise me?" the Doctor said.

The bathroom door opened and Juliet stepped out holding her old clothes in her arms. She was dressed in lavender shorts, a plain white t-shirt and white socks with red and white converse on her feet. Everyone nodded approvingly.

"Feel better?" the Doctor asked.

"Much better. What a relief," Juliet said. "Thanks again!"

"Don't thank me, thank Tara, she saw you first," the Doctor said.

Juliet smiled and gave her a hug.

"Thank ya, baby," she said.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you're better now," she said. "We're going to go see Harry Potter tonight so come with us."

"Um...okay, I've never seen any of the Harry Potter movies though," she said as the Doctor grabbed the other bags of clothes, drinks for everyone and toiletries for Juliet from the trolley and left the trolley behind.

He glanced at the winter clothes in Juliet's arms and made a face.

"Juliet, throw those away when we get outside. Those are old and worn and dirty. You don't need em anymore," he said to her.

She nodded and followed everyone out the door. Once she got outside, she dumped the dirty clothes in the trash recepticle while everyone cheered. Then they followed Tara towards the minivan. As they followed Tara, the Doctor stared at the backpack and grinned. He fished around in his pocket, brought out his yo yo and unzipped her bag.

"Huh?" Tara said when she heard and felt the bag unzipping.

Everyone else laughed when he shoved the yo yo inside and reached in his pockets for more objects. Tara looked at him.

"What are you doing, Daddy?"

"Well, you have a new backpack and you're not using it except to store your other t-shirt so I thought I'd put it to good use," he said, putting his handkerchief inside it.

"Quit that!" Tara said laughing as he dropped a handful of marbles into it.

Alan ran up and put his tiger into the bag.

"Quit!" Tara said between giggles.

"Look, Brother," Alan said pointing to the Eeyore on her backpack. "How appropriate that Eeyore is on here since the woman is now our pack mule!"

Tara laughed and took off running for the minivan. Reaching it, she put her hand on the back of it while she waited for the others.

"Good, you didn't run off with Scratch," Alan said when they reached the car.

"I wouldn't want your stupid stuffed cat anyway," Tara replied, walking to the sliding door.

Alan walked around, got inside and unlocked the doors for everyone else. The Doctor let Juliet go first and then everyone else got in around her.

"So we're heading back to the city then?" Jack said.

"Yeah, I'll head back that way and we can see the film before heading home," Alan replied. "Besides the drive back will give Brother time to explain to Juliet what we're all about."

Juliet was curious about that but kept silent, letting the Doctor tell her when they were ready. They all got situated inside and Jack passed out the drinks. As Alan drove out of the parking lot, the Doctor took a sip of his cold iced tea and began to explain who they were to Juliet. At first Juliet was freaked out when he told her they were aliens and admitted as much when the Doctor paused upon noticing her discomfort.

"So ya'll are like those robots that attacked a few years ago?"

The Doctor shook his head emphatically.

"No, nothing like them. In fact, we fight those robots whenever we come across them. It was me and Rose that were responsible for getting rid of them that day. No, we're not evil in any way."

He continued on and once Juliet's fears were eased, she listened spellbound while she sipped her Coke. For added proof, the Doctor took out his stethoscope and let her listen to his hearts.

"This is incredible," she said when he finished. "I would have been more scared but I can see ya'll are good people."

"We are. We won't hurt you or anyone else," the Doctor assured her. "Well,correction, won't hurt anyone else that's innocent and not trying to take over the universe."

"So you came here from the future to go sightseeing in Detroit?" Juliet said amused.

"Well, actually, Alan and Tara were here at first and their TARDIS chose this place randomly. We went out to eat at this Chinese restaurant in Nova and came down to be with them after it since we were all kinda bored and curious."

"Well, thanks for explaining all of that. Least I know now how you could have seen Detroit in the 1960's and look this young," she said.

"Yeah but even that was a few centuries ago. I'm over twelve hundred years old."

"Dang!" Juliet said. "You look good for your age."

"Tell me about it," Rain replied.

She chuckled when the Doctor raised his eyebrow at that.

"So did you marry the man before or after you became an alien?"

"Before. We fell in love when I was still a human," she said."Out of all the people in here, he's known Rose the longest and then Jack and we all came later."

By now, Alan had reached the inner city and drove up towards the GM building while they continued to talk.

"So, ya'll want me to come with you into the future?" Juliet said.

"Yes, we can take you to Nova and I can get you a house there around the corner from my family. If it hasn't been sold yet, I can get you the house across from Linus which would mean you would be next door to my daughter Jenny and my sister Grace and sister in law, Amber."

"How many kids ya got?"

"Four. I have Dex who is my son from my first marriage. My biological daughter, Jenny, who was cloned from my hand like Alan was and my two adopted daughters, Dorothy and Weirdo."

"Hey!" Tara said as they laughed.

The Doctor tousled her hair. All of them are mine but Dorothy is Maddie's child. Dorothy sorta adopted me on the advice of a dear departed friend that she was able to see. So she is mine and Maddie's and the rest consider Rain as their mother."

"Do you have any children of your own?" Juliet asked Rain. "Biological children, I mean."

"No, we're sterile. Gallifreyans were made from machines called looms because they're all born sterile. So that's why Tara and Dorothy were adopted. Jenny was cloned from his hand and Dex was loomed. He's the only one of our children that was loomed on Gallifrey before it was destroyed."

"And that's what you meant about being homeless?" Juliet asked the Doctor.

"Yes. Although, truth be told, Earth has always been a second home to me and the TARDIS is like a house but in technical terms, I had no true homeworld for awhile. Now I live on New Hope but I don't consider myself to be a native. It's just where my family is and where I go to rest in between our travels. If you come with us, you'll get to meet everybody. We're a very tightknit group of people, friends and family who live there and a few work there and down here on Earth and then when I go out to travel, people travel with me whenever they feel like it. But usually Rain goes with me and Tara and most of the time Alan and Rose. Everybody else travels whenever they have the time and when they feel like it."

"Sounds exciting," Juliet said.

"I think so but then that's what I was born to do," the Doctor said. "And to keep it fresh and exciting, I take along people I can show the wonders of the universe to. That way I get to experience what I've seen through their eyes and enjoy their delight."

"It's dangerous at times too," Rose said. "Sometimes you have to fight monsters or evildoers but even that's exciting. Sure beats a menial job on Earth."

Everyone murmured their agreement. Alan found a parking garage next door to the Renaissance Center and pulled inside it. He went up to the second level and parked near a tunneled walkway that went over the road into the Renaissance Center. They started to get out when Jack stopped them.

"Are we getting popcorn?" he said. "Because we could use Tara's backpack and sneak some of our food inside there."

They looked at each other.

"Star, give Jack your backpack so he can fill it up for us," he said.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

"Ah, nice to get out of that hot air again," Alan said as they went through double doors into the Renaissance Center.

They headed for the center of the building where all the escalators were. They headed up to the next level and over to Tower 200 where the movie theater was located. They went behind a partition and paid for their tickets. Once they were inside, the Doctor, Alan and Jack went up to the snack bar to get drinks while the rest of them headed into the theater. Tara's backpack had been cleaned out and held nothing except cheeseburgers, chicken rings and chicken sandwiches for them to eat.

"Glad I got this," Tara said as they opened the door and walked into the theater. It was semidark and Beat It was playing over the sound system while they walked halfway down the aisle and went into a row on the right side of the theater. They sat down in the red cushioned seats while Tara took her backpack off and handed it to her mother.

"Glad I got that," Tara said.

"Yes but now it'll smell like burgers," Ianto said.

Tara sat down right beside the aisle. Rain made a space in between them for the Doctor and sat down next to it. Juliet sat next to her followed by Madison and then Rose and Ianto.

"Do you want your food now or do you wanna wait for the boys to come back with the drinks?" she asked everyone.

"Wait," they said.

Rain nodded and set the backpack down between her legs while everyone relaxed. While Ianto chatted with Rose and Madison, Juliet chatted with Rain.

"So you're sterile but do you regret changing and not having children of your own with the Doctor now?" Juliet asked her. "I mean, I don't mean to be rude but you know, most women want biological children with their husbands."

"We talked about it and there are a couple of ways we could have children if we wanted to but they're pretty painful and at the moment we're not interested. Although, we haven't ruled out the possibility of having one of our own at some point."

"Really? You wanna have kids of your own, Mommy?"

"Well, not right now, Baby. We're raising you and Daddy's raising Dorothy plus we both love traveling too much at the moment but maybe someday we will."

"Yeah, Alan and I are bringing up two of our own. We have a four year old daughter and a one year old daughter, both adopted. And alot of times we leave them with my mum so we can travel and there's times I feel guilty about that so Alan and I try to stay home as often as we can so they don't grow up not knowing us."

"How many kids ya'll got?"

"I have Dorothy," Madison said."They have their four, they have two, Dex, the Doctor's son, has two girls, Rose's mother has a four year old boy and we have friends that have a four year old boy and another friend that has an eight year old girl. Plus, Tara has a second mother and father from another dimension and they have a nine year old son along with adopting her. So we have quite a number of kids at the moment."

"And they're all adopted?" Juliet asked.

"Not all of em. Dex had his when he was human and capable of it which is another long story we'll have to tell you. We have a friend named Karishma who is from another dimension and her daughter is Tara's double from the dimension. She's eight and named Bala. And there's a family of former slaves from 1863 and one of them is a little four year old named Toby. Other than that, everyone else was adopted except for Jenny and Dex, of course."

Tara felt someone nudge her shoulder and looked up to see the Doctor, Alan and Jack. They were carrying cardboard holders that had large cups of soda in them.

"Meep meep," the Doctor said. "Pull back them leggys so we can get through."

Tara drew her legs back and let Jack and Alan pass.

"I assume this empty seat is for me," the Doctor said, sitting down in between his wife and daughter.

Alan sat down beside Rose and Ianto switched places with him to sit beside Jack. They passed out the drinks and Rain passed out the sandwiches. Tara bit into her chicken sandwich and made a face.

"It's cold, Daddy."

He stared at her with wide eyes.

"Gee, why do you think that is? Maybe because we got them several hours earlier and there's no microwave around?" he said."You know, when I was on Lalantia in my third life, the high chief of the Popogani tribe served me cold Camalari fish and I had to eat the slimy thing on pain of death because not eating it would have been a major insult to the Popogani chief. So be happy you only have to eat a cold White Castle chicken sandwich."

He heard Rain laughing and turned his head to see Juliet giving him an odd look.

"Popo...what?" she said as everyone laughed.

The Doctor giggled.

"Popogani tribe of the planet Lalantia in the Comoros Galazy near the Azure Starbust waaaaaay on the other side of the universe. Nice place."

Juliet looked at Rain.

"Is he bullshitting us?" she said while the others bent over laughing.

Rain looked at her husband. The Doctor waggled his eyebrows at her and winked. She looked back at Juliet and shrugged.

"Honestly, sometimes I really don't know," she said. "I have Time Lady knowledge of the universe but there are some planets out there that are still unknown and sometimes I really don't have a clue if he's visited these places or if he's making up stuff."

"I'm not making it up. I really was there!" the Doctor said indignantly. "If you don't believe me, fine! I'll sit here, eat my chicken ring and sulk all night."

He took a chicken ring from the box on Rain's lap and bit into it. He pulled a face and held it out at arm's length.

"Ewww, it's all cold! Why is it cold?" he said in a snotty voice.

They laughed when Tara swatted his head and he put his arm around her while he chewed the rest of the ring.

By now others were starting to file into the theater. The Doctor looked over when two attractive teenage girls came down the aisle. Both were brunette with long, flowing hair. Both were thin and tall. One had an angular face while the other had a plump face and was wearing round glasses with brown frames. They noticed the Doctor and stopped to admire him for a second before they walked up towards the front.

"People do that alot with you, Daddy. They stop and look."

"Because I'm a pretty boy, Star," he replied, taking another chicken ring out of the box. "Women seem to like that sort of thing."

The women sat down five rows up. They turned around in their seats, caught the Doctor's eye and giggled. The Doctor put his index and middle finger against his forehead and gave them a salute.

"Nice to know I'm not the only one who gets harrassed by horny people," Rain said.

"We're just two gorgeous people, Latara. Someday, Tara will have to deal with the same problem as we."

"Not if I can help it," Tara muttered.

The lights dimmed and the previews started. The first preview was for GI Joe. The Doctor frowned when he saw someone near the beginning of the trailer that looked familiar.

_Brother, Rose, did you think that one chap looked alot like my old self?_ he thought to them.

Rose giggled in his head.

_As a matter of fact, yes, I do think he looks like your previous self,_ she thought. _Did you volunteer to be in this movie sometime in your ninth life?_

_I don't think so...course I did a lot of crazy things and sometimes memories do get lost after regeneration. Maybe I did,_ he thought.

Tara reached over and plucked a chicken ring out of the box. She leaned against her father while she ate it and he put his arm around her shoulder and kissed her head before getting another chicken ring.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tara was giggling halfway through the movie because every so often she heard Jack and Ianto ask Alan what was going on.

"So Voldemort's soul split and he's got them in objects?" she heard him whispering to Alan.

"Horcruxes. When he murdered people, it shattered his soul and he could place pieces of his soul into objects so no one could kill him."

Tara glanced down and giggled at the odd look on Jack's face.

"Star, it's not polite to laugh at other people's obvious confusion because they're too stupid to read a brilliant book series like Harry Potter."

"Sorry, Daddy, I won't laugh at the confused person again," Tara said while he chuckled.

"So...there's a big university filled with witches in the middle of England and nobody notices it?" Jack whispered to Alan.

"Because they cast a spell on Hogwarts to hide it from Muggles," Alan whispered back.

"And muggles are us?"

Alan sighed.

"Jack, when we get back home, I'm lending you my Harry Potter books and you sit there every evening when you get back from the Hub and read them!" he whispered.

"I think we should have waited and taken Jack to see GI Joe," the Doctor whispered to Tara. "I think he would have understood that better since I have a feeling that it mainly consists of people blowing things up."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack checked his watch and his eyebrows raised.

"This is a long movie," Jack whispered to Alan.

"Jack, they're all long movies, the whole bleedin' series. All of them are three hours long or more."

"Wow!" Jack muttered.

He settled back in his seat, then looked at Ianto. He leaned over and kissed his cheek. Ianto gave him a quizzical look and he waggled his eyebrows and grinned.

"Here?" Ianto mouthed to him.

He shook his head and hooked his thumb back at the door. They both stood up and walked past the others.

"Ought-oh, now where are they going?" Madison whispered to the others while they watched them hurry up the aisle to the door.

"Probably off to shag in the loo or something," Rose whispered back.

They all turned their attention back to the movie. When it ended, they noticed that Jack and Ianto still hadn't returned.

"Five quid says they went back to the car," Rose said.

"If they did, they're gonna have a hard time getting into it because I have the keys," Alan said as the lights went up.

They went out into the lobby and looked around but couldn't find them. They searched the bathrooms but they weren't there either. The Doctor let out an angry sigh.

_Harkness, where'd ya go? The film's over now,_ he thought to him.

_Oh, it is? We're out by the lake on that plaza thing,_ Jack thought back. _We got bored and came out here to kiss._

The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"Not much for fantasy is he?" Madison said as they walked.

"No, because I'm sure he has enough fantasy going through his mind," the Doctor replied.

"Do you know where they went?" Juliet asked.

"Yeah, they're outside," the Doctor said.

"How do you know?" Juliet asked.

The Doctor looked around and when he saw no one was nearby, he explained their shared minds and the telepathy.

"Damn, wish I could do that. That's better than cell phones," she said.

They went down the escalators to the ground floor and headed out the back and across the street to the plaza. By now it was dark and the lights from the Caesar's Palace casino lit up the lake. Besides Jack and Ianto, several couples and a group of teens were in it sitting around and joking or strolling along beside the barrier while they held hands. Jack and Ianto hurried over to them.

"Sorry, everyone, we got bored and came out here for awhile for a little romantic view," he said.

"You two are dating?" Juliet said.

"Married, actually, just recently," he said.

"Oh, congratulations."

"Thanks," Jack said, beaming.

He looked at the Doctor.

"So now what?" he said.

"Now we go back to the TARDIS and head for home," the Doctor said.

Jack smirked.

"Ditch the van again like last time?"

"I s'pose we'll have to since we have no way of getting back besides the bus and I don't wanna ride that. It's cramped enough as it is in the people carrier. They'll figure out it's abandoned eventually and tow it back."

"Wow, that's irresponsible," Juliet said.

"Well, we won't be back here, at least not in the forseeable future so they can't arrest us!"

They laughed when he stuck his tongue out.

"Ya'll are crazy but I like ya," she said.

"Good because I have a feeling you're gonna be stuck with us for a very looooooong time!" the Doctor said as they walked back to the parking garage.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Alan drove the van out to his TARDIS. They parked it in a parking lot a block away and Alan put the keys underneath the front seat. They gathered all their things together, locked it and walked the block to the TARDIS. On the way there, the Doctor explained in more detail about the ship so she wouldn't be shocked when she saw it.

"Alan's TARDIS has a functioning chameleon circuit," he was saying to her as they walked. "So it can disguise itself. Mine looks like a police box that used to be everywhere in London and mine's stuck so you can always tell where it is. Mine's better though."

"No way, Daisy is much better than your TARDIS."

"He named his TARDIS, Daisy. I don't name my TARDIS," the Doctor said to Juliet while they giggled. "And the TARDIS is much, much better than a people carrier or any other car for that matter."

They walked into the alley and Alan walked up to a trash dumpster. He opened the side of it and gestured inside to the TARDIS."

"Shit!" Juliet said when she looked inside at the console room, "ya'll weren't kidding."

"Just step right through," the Doctor said to her.

Juliet followed the Doctor. She ducked her head along with everyone else and stepped into the metallic console room. Her mouth dropped open as she looked around it. She glanced at the others and noticed they were calmly putting their stuff by the wall on the right side of the room. She felt someone pat her shoulder and she turned to see Alan smiling at her.

"You'll get used to this, trust me," he said.

She nodded and followed him up to the console. Rose was already there powering it up and Alan helped her while Juliet stood a few feet behind him and watched.

"Where we goin' next, Daddy?" Tara asked him as they and Rain stood off to the side.

"We are going to go home and have a rest. I have to get Juliet sorted out before we do anything else my Eager Beaver," he said. "Why? Did you have something in mind?"

"I wanna go somewhere exciting."

"Okay, I'll drop ya right down in the middle of the Battle of Gettysburg. How's about that?"

"Okay."

She laughed when the Doctor gave her an odd look. With a grin, he poked her side.

"Quit," Tara said.

"Quit," the Doctor aped her.

"Weirdo," Tara said.

"Geek!" the Doctor retorted.

His eyes widened when Rose, who had snuck around them, ran up and snorted the back of his hair again.

"THAT IS IT, ROSE TIMELORD!" he said, spinning around.

He snatched Rose before she could get away. Rose squealed with laughter as he held her tight and put his nose in her hair, snorting like a pig as he moved it all around her head.

"Here, Brother, let me!" Alan said, running around the console towards her.

Juliet's eyes bulged out and she looked at Jack.

"No one's flying the ship," she said to Jack, pointing at the unmanned console.

He chuckled.

"This isn't like a car. You can actually leave the console there and it flies itself."

"Damn, that's really handy."

Both of them laughed as they watched both men snorting all over Rose's head as she struggled to get free of the Doctor's iron grip.

"HELP!" Rose screamed to the women.

"Stay back!" the Doctor said to them in an ominous voice, "or you'll suffer the same fate as she! Now where was I? Oh! Yes, right about here…"

He put his nose in Rose's hair and began to snort again while Rose laughed and tried to wriggle away. After a few minutes they finally let go of her and walked away.

"There! That'll teach her to quit putting her nose in my hair," the Doctor said to Alan.

"Fat lot of good you were," Rose said to the other women.

"He said he kill us if we tried to help," Tara said, shrugging.

The TARDIS landed and powered down. Juliet looked around as the lights dimmed.

"What happened?" she said with sudden panic.

"S'alright, we've landed," Jack said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "It does that."

Juliet nodded. She grabbed her bags of clothes and headed out the door with everyone else. She noticed they were in a garage the moment she stepped out and the was a blue box next to the TARDIS.

"My baby!" the Doctor said to Juliet as he patted the side of his TARDIS. "This is mine and Alan's home. We live here with our wives, his children, Madison, Tara and Dorothy and our three dogs, Blizzard, Rory and Barney."

She followed them into the house and grinned when three dogs immediately ran to greet them.

"And these are the household pests," the Doctor said to Juliet as he bent down to greet them.

He smiled when they licked his face. Suddenly they spied Jack and Ianto who were hurrying past with the white castles. Everyone laughed when the two men sped up to avoid the hungry dogs who were now trying to stop them from moving.

"Sit!" the Doctor said loudly.

Juliet was impressed when the three of them immediately sat down.

"We had them trained. They travel in the TARDIS with us from time to time and it's not safe for them to be untrained, especially if we land on a hostile planet," the Doctor explained. "Now if you follow me, I'll show you around starting with across the street because I need to collect my other child."

"Mine as well," Rose said.

She giggled when the Doctor shot her a warning look and snorted like a pig.

"I'm not gonna, I learn my lesson," Rose said.

"Good!" the Doctor replied.

Rose gave Juliet a mischievous grin.

"For now, anyway," she said.

Juliet laughed when the Doctor tried to grab at her.

"Sisters," he said, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, follow me and…"

He paused when Tara took his hand.

"I wanna come along," she said.

The Doctor looked at Juliet.

"Just so you know, if you wanna do something she wants to do it too. The girl is inexhaustible," he said while Tara giggled. "Always gotta be in the thick of things. Gotta sneak off if you want to be by yourself, so be warned."

"I wanna see everyone," Tara protested.

"I know! You always wanna see, wanna do, wanna feel, wanna taste. You're definitely my daughter," he said.

"You lot have fun, I'll be in here eating mine and Tara's Chinese food!" Alan called from the kitchen.

"You better not!" Tara yelled as they and Rose went out the door. They walked off the porch and Juliet blinked at the bright sunny day.

"It's day here, we just came from nighttime," she said to the Doctor.

"Yeah, that's another thing you have to get used to when you travel. We don't always land in the same time frame that we leave from. We don't mind it because most of us only sleep every two weeks or so but for the non-Time Lords in our group, it can be bit jarring at first."

Juliet looked around at the housing development and up into the sky at the twin suns overhead.

"This is bizarre. I can't believe I'm on another planet!" she said.

"Not only that but you're on in the year 4181," the Doctor said to her.

The Doctor waved at John and Tim who were sitting on their porch.

"Make a new friend?" John yelled.

"Yeah, I'll introduce you to her in a moment. Gotta get my kid!" the Doctor said.

They nodded and waved to Juliet. She smiled and waved back. As the climbed the steps to Jackie's house, she opened the door and Dorothy, Elizabeth and Angel went past her.

"Daddy!" Dorothy said, running to him.

The Doctor stopped and bent down to hug her while Rose did the same for her children. The Doctor picked Dorothy up when she threw her arms around his neck.

"This is my youngest, Dorothy or Dot as we call her. This is Maddie's daughter," the Doctor said to Juliet as Jackie came down the porch steps with Tony behind her.

"And these are our daughters, Angel and Elizabeth or Lizzy as we call her," Rose said, pointing to her daughters who were staring at Juliet with curiosity.

"And I'm Jackie Tyler," Jackie said, extending her hand to Juliet. "I'm Rose's mum and this is my son, Tony."

"Nice to meet ya'll," she said.

"Juliet's gonna be staying here. I'm gonna see if the house across from Linus is still empty," the Doctor said.

"Oh, so you don't have anyone? Usually that's what happens when the Doctor brings someone here."

"Not really. I'm homeless and my family doesn't want anything to do with me."

Jackie sighed angrily.

"Well, we'll take ya in then," she said with a warm smile and wink. "This entire street is our family and we have good friends who live in here and close by. You'll find plenty of love and acceptance here."

Juliet beamed at that.

"So you're showing her around then?" Jackie said to the Doctor.

"Yeah, letting her meet everyone before checking to see if the house I want is empty."

"Well, Donna's been looking for ya. I think she wants to talk to you. She came over about a half hour ago after she realized you'd gone."

The Doctor nodded.

"Oi!"

Jackie shrugged when they turned and saw Donna coming out of her house.

"Like I said, she's been lookin' for ya," Jackie said.

"Oi! Wait there, I need to talk to ya," Donna said, coming down the steps and heading for the street.

She hurried across the street towards them while they waited for her.

"Where'd you go?" Donna said as she climbed Jackie's steps.

"We went to Detroit and we actually found a new friend that's going to be living here with us," the Doctor said to her. "This is Juliet. Juliet, this is my sister, Donna."

"Hi, nice to meet you, welcome to the neighborhood," Donna said, shaking her hand.

"Thank you," Juliet said.

Donna turned to the Doctor, her face aglow.

"You'll never believe this; Lee wants to get married as soon as possible!"

The Doctor's grin nearly split his face and he gathered Donna in a tight hug.

"Ah! At last, now everyone else is following Jack and Ianto's lead. Te'lesu, that's wonderful. When?"

"As soon as we can," Donna replied.

"Let me know and we'll make preparations then," he said.

Donna hugged Rose, Tara and Jackie.

"Congratulations, Sweetie," Jackie said.

"Thanks, Mum," Donna said.

"Is he over there now?" the Doctor asked Donna, hooking his thumb back at their house.

"No, he and Jake went out to see a film but he'll be back later on. Awinita, Nelak and Julie are over there though."

"Good because I wanna introduce Juliet to them," he said. "So, I s'pose we'll start down at the Torchwood House and work out way over to Linus."

Donna followed them as they went down the steps. Tony started to follow them but Jackie stopped him.

"No, you've played all day with the girls, now you need a bath and a kip."

"Noooo!" Tony howled as Jackie picked him up.

Everyone else paused and turned to look at him when they heard him yell.

"It's okay, I'm just giving him a bath and he needs a nap, that's why he hollarin'," Jackie said to them.

She took him back inside the house as the Doctor led the way down the street. On the way there, the door to Donna's house and Awinita, Nelak and Julie came outside.

"Did she tell you, Bro?" Awinita said as they walked down their steps.

"Yup, she did and I'm glad you came outside because I have something to tell you lot."

He introduced them to Juliet and they laughed when Juliet stared at Nelak's hair.

"Yeah, I know, it's quirky but I like it," Awinita replied.

"So…now that Donna's gettin' married, are you gonna do the same?" the Doctor asked Awinita and Nelak.

"Well, we want to but we don't wanna ruin Donna and Lee's day," Awinita said.

"And I keep on tellin' em they won't," Donna said. "I told them a double weddin' will be fine with us."

"Are you sure, Donna?" Awinita said.

"Of course I'm sure, go ahead, I'd rather have someone else going through it at the same time anyway," Donna replied.

"Okay, you twisted our arms, we'll go through with it," Nelak said.

Juliet grinned when everyone cheered and hugged them tightly.

"Wow, you came at the right time," Tara said to Juliet while she held on to Dorothy's hand.

"I know, this is wonderful," Juliet replied.

Everyone walked with the Doctor as they went down to the Torchwood house. They walked up the steps and knocked on the door. Rhys answered it.

"Ought-oh, is there an emergency of some sort?" he said, looking at everyone.

"Nope, just the opposite we have some happy news and a new member of the community. Are you the only one here?"

"No, Martha, Mickey and Gwen are here. Jack and Ianto are with you, I thought, and Jack and Lee are in the city," he said to him.

Martha came up behind him and smiled.

"What's going on?"

They introduced Juliet as Gwen and Mickey came up behind Martha. All of them stepped outside on the porch and shook her hand, greeting her warmly.

"Doctor, could you wait here a minute before you say anything else, I need to give you something," Martha said.

He nodded and she hurried back inside. Mickey came up beside him.

"Got somethin' to tell ya as well. After watching Jack and Ianto, Martha and me discussed gettin' married and we wanna do it now."

The Doctor let out a joyful laugh.

"Now see, I figured watching Jack and Ianto get married would rub off on everyone. Well, Donna and Lee and Awinita and Nelak wanna get married as well so how about a triple wedding?"

Mickey looked at Donna, Awinita and Nelak.

"Would you wanna do that?" he asked them.

"I wouldn't mind, I think It'd be fun," Awinita said.

"Yeah, might as well get it over with, mate, since all of us want to take the plunge," Nelak added.

"I'd be thrilled and I'm sure Lee won't mind," Donna said.

"Brilliant, I'm so guy you lot are finally going to get married," he said.

He looked at Martha when she walked up to him holding a tiny plastic container filled with a blue substance. The Doctor's eyes widened when he took it from her.

"Is this…"

"Bogangia? Yes, it is," Martha said. "Grace got some from the hospital and gave me a heap of it so I'm giving some to you for you med bay."

"Grace? You mean she nicked this stuff?"

"No," she said when the Doctor snickered. "They had a surplus and allowed some of the employees to take some home. She thought of me and brought me some."

"And she didn't think of me?" the Doctor said.

"Doctor, you've always got a fully stocked med bay, she probably thought you had enough of it. I just figured you could use a bit more since you get into dangerous situations all the time."

The Doctor noticed Juliet's confusion.

"Bogangia is a type of blue flower that is ground up and turned into a liquid. It helps to counteract some poisons."

Juliet nodded.

"You get poisoned a lot then, do ya?" she asked with amusement.

"Well, you never can tell," he said, shrugging.

Donna turned to Juliet.

"You oughta seen him the last time he did get poisoned. Stupid git was talking to me and Agatha Christie and…"

"That'll do, Donna," the Doctor said as everyone giggled.

He smiled at Martha.

"We were just discussing the possibility of you having a triple wedding with Donna and Lee and Awinita and Nelak," he said.

Martha's mouth dropped open and she squealed with delight as she went and hugged her friends. The Doctor looked at Gwen and Rhys.

"I think she's all for the idea," he said while they chuckled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After leaving Martha, Mickey, Gwen and Rhys, the small group headed across the street to John and Rosie's house. They climbed the steps and the Doctor rang the doorbell. A moment later, the door opened and Simon smiled at them.

"Hello, son, your parents in?"

"Pa's home, but not Ma. Ma went with Donna and Jenny to the store. Wait a minute and I'll get Pa for ya," he said.

They nodded as he closed the door. A moment later, John opened the door, smiled at Tara and gave the Doctor a stern look.

"I trust my property has been returned to me undamaged," he said while Tara giggled.

"I keep MY property safe at all times unlike you, now where's the alimony check?"

"In my davenport. I keep it there and take it out occasionally to laugh at the fact that you don't have it," he said, his nose in the air.

He grinned and patted him on the shoulder before he hugged Tara.

"Ya'mer'la, you okay?"

"I'm fine, A'ner'ra!"

John smirked at the Doctor.

"She says I love you every time she says my name," he said, smugly, as Tara giggled.

"Yes, I keep meaning to discipline her about that but it keeps slipping my mind, funny thing that," he said. "We have a new neighbor here. This is Juliet. Juliet, this is John and his son, Simon."

"Pleased to meet you," John said, shaking her hand. "My wife, Rosie is gone with my daughter and best friend. Went down to the shops to buy some clothing they don't need. I didn't fancy going with them so my son and I are watching the telly. Where are you living?"

"I haven't gotten the house yet but I think down the street from ya'll."

"I'm gonna try to get the house across from Linus," the Doctor said to him.

"It's nice to have you here then," John said. "I'm from another universe originally. I was the Doctor's clone there, don't know how much he told you about us…"

"He's explained to me about Alan being his clone," Juliet said.

"Ah, well, there are different universes, hundreds and thousands of them and I was the Doctor's clone from another universe. My Doctor turned evil so I assumed his job as protector. But while we were there, we fell in love with Snug-a-bug here and she fell in love with us and asked to be our daughter so we adopted her and unfortunately we have to share her with this thing here."

Tara giggled when he and the Doctor eyed each other before John continued.

"At first we stayed in our other universe but we missed Tara too much so we decided to come live here full time so we could be close to her. We want to make sure certain undesirables don't taint her and ruin her fragile mind."

Tara giggled harder when the two men eyed each other again before they grinned.

"But we have our own version of Donna living with us and our own version of Jenny and the version of my son and his children stay here as well but they're off travelin' for the moment but it's nice to meet you and I hope you'll be happy here."

"I think I will," Juliet said.

"Come with us, A'ner'ra," Tara said, tugging on his jacket sleeve.

"Why? Is he beating you again?" John said, pointing to the Doctor.

The Doctor swatted Tara's head lightly and John's mouth dropped open.

"How dare you abuse my daughter. It's child services for you, Boy-o!" he said, stepping in front of Tara.

"Go ahead, you got nothin' on me, Girl-o!" the Doctor said, folding his arms over his chest.

John giggled and shut the door.

"Don't mind us, we joke about sharing Tara," he said to Juliet as they went down the steps. "We pretend we're a divorced couple who has to share custody of her."

"How can ya'll tell them apart? Not just you two but Alan?" Juliet said.

"Alan? Alan, you can tell him apart from us in a heartsbeat," John said while they laughed. "Don't know how long you've been with them but Alan's unique. Clothing wise, he always wears t-shirts and we don't. Now as for us, well, it's a little bit harder but Tara seems to know who's who."

"Yup," Tara said, nodding.

"So does Rain. Rain can smell the difference in me and see it in my eyes since I'm a lot older than him and Alan," the Doctor said.

They took her around to meet everybody else and spoke with each person briefly. They managed to speak to everyone except for Sarah Jane and the teens who were down in Ealing and Lee and Jake. After the Doctor introduced her to Linus, they went next door to check on the house before going to see Sheeva, Patty, Serena and Tobey. They walked up to the house and the Doctor peered inside.

"Looks empty," he said as he scanned the living room. I don't see any magazines or other doodahs in there. Brilliant. We'll go into town in the morning and I'll get you this house."

"Thank you so much, I'm so glad you're doing this for me," Juliet said.

Everyone smiled at her.

"No problem," the Doctor said. "Now if you'll follow us up the street, we'll introduce you to our friends that live back this way."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After they finished introductions, Serena, Patty and Sheeva followed them back to the house for a barbecue in her honor. While they walked, Juliet marveled at her luck and the fact that she now knew so many wonderful people. Once they reached the house, the Doctor, Alan and John went out to start up the grill while Juliet sat in the house with the women and children. The dogs ran around and played with the children while they giggled. Rose had fetched Juliet some tea and now she, Rain, Serena, Patty, Sheeva and Madison were sitting with them.

"I'm so glad we might have a triple wedding and have the last of our couples finally get married," Rain said as they sipped the tea.

"I know, bad thing is we'll have to wait till someone else becomes a couple before we can have more weddings," Rose said.

"Ya'll like weddings?" Juliet asked.

"We like any sort of celebration," Rose said. "Any excuse for a party. That's why we're having the barbecue now."

"How'd ya'll change if you used to be human?" Juliet asked Rain.

Rain explained about Imiko and what she did and finished by telling her about the crystals. Juliet was intrigued. She asked what the advantages were and was even more intrigued by what they had to say.

"So you're all Time Ladies?" she asked when Rain finished.

"I'm not," Patty said. "They gave me an open invitation to become one if I want but I'm still debating it."

"I'm not either," Sheeva said. "Don't think I wanna become one. I'm old and I don't feel like living multiple lives."

"I'm not because I'm a vampire," Serena said. "Although the Doctor is trying to find a cure and maybe if I become human then I'll change because I love everyone here so very much. Trust me, Juliet, you won't find a more loving group of people."

"I was just wonderin' because it sounds like a nice thing," Juliet said.

Tara perked up while she played with Blizzard.

"You wanna become one? My daddy's got crystals!" she said excitedly.

Everyone else bent over laughing.

"You had to say that in front of her," Rain teased as she pointed to Tara.

"You should. It's wonderful," Tara said. "I'm a Time Lady but I won't get my full Time Lady mind until I'm twenty. All the kids are like that. We have to wait till we're twenty to become super smart but I have everything else my daddy has."

"Does it hurt?" Juliet asked.

They shook their heads.

"Nope, totally painless. You feel your second heart growing while it happens but it doesn't hurt," Madison said.

They laughed when Tara got up, ran to the patio door and went outside.

"Daddy!" she yelled as they laughed harder.

The Doctor and John turned towards her. The women watched while she gestured towards Juliet and explained the situation to him. The men looked at each other and then stared at Juliet with grins on their faces.

"Mind the grill a moment, will ya?" the Doctor said to Alan and John.

The women laughed as he strolled through the patio door whistling cheerfully. He didn't say anything to anyone as he went to the garage door, opened it and went through. He came back through five minutes later, holding a crystal in his hand. He smiled as he walked over to Juliet and showed it to her.

"This transforms you into a Time Lady," he said. "If you want to do it, you break it open and let the light do the work but be sure it's what you want since the change can't be reversed without a lot of pain involved."

Tara, Alan and John came inside, stood and watched as the Doctor gave it to her. Juliet stared at it for a moment, marveling at the light inside the crystal. Then with a smile, she broke it open and let the light wash over her. Everyone cheered when it finished and Juliet blinked in surprise.

"Damn, that was bright," she said as they laughed and gave her hugs.

"Welcome to our family," the Doctor said. "Now we really have a reason to celebrate."

He let out a sigh.

"If only others would be so brave," he said wistfully, turning as he talked to focus on Patty.

"Yes," he said, giving her a pointed stare, "not everyone has the guts to do what you just did."

"I'm still thinking about it!" she said as everyone else laughed.

"You're always thinking about it, you're like Rhys," the Doctor said to her.

Patty sighed and looked at Rose beside her.

"You're not gonna stop until I change, are you?" she asked.

"Mmmm, probably not!" the Doctor said with a twinkle in his eyes.

Patty let out a long sigh and held out her hand.

"Give it here, Alien Boy," she said as everyone laughed.

"Bout bloody time!" the Doctor yelled, running back to the garage as everyone laughed harder.

Patty looked at Rose and shook her head.

"Hey, it was inevitable, you know that," Rose said, shrugging.

Sheeva looked at Alan when he bent down next to her with a hopeful look on his face.

"No thanks," she said.

"Awww, why not? Might be fun. Tim's available," he teased.

"No, I don't want Tim and I'm looking forward to meeting my husband again in the afterlife, thanks," Sheeva teased back.

Alan wrapped his arm around her and pressed his cheek to hers as the Doctor ran back to them, making exaggerated gasping noises. He bent over and breathed heavily as he raised a trembling hand and dropped the crystal in Patty's palm.

"Right, I know you had to run a million miles to get this and it wasn't lying there just inside your doorway," she said as they laughed.

She hesitated a moment and then broke it open. Juliet watched as the white light surrounded her.

"Oh so that's what it looks like from the outside," she said as they laughed.

When she was done changing, they gave her hugs and kisses.

"Welcome, fellow Time Ladies, to our clan," the Doctor said. "And now that that's over with, leave us alone, we're grillin'!"

He winked at them as he walked back outside with Alan and John.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

(Two days later…)

"Mornin' Juliet," Grace said as she came out of her house onto the front porch.

"Mornin' Grace," Juliet said, waving. "How you doin' this mornin'?"

"Fine. I'm getting ready to go into work. Just getting a bit of morning fresh air, you?"

"I'm fine. Still adjusting to being a Time Lady," she said.

"Don't worry, I had to do the same but I don't regret it one bit," Grace said.

The door opened behind Grace and Jenny stepped outside. She grabbed a hold of her pony tail and tightened it before she stretched her back. She waved to Juliet before she went down the steps towards the Doctor's house. Juliet shut her door when she decided to take a little walk around the housing development. Jenny was ahead of her and she bounded up the steps to the Doctor's house. Juliet passed by as she knocked on the door.

"Good morning, Angel," she heard the Doctor say to her. "Ready?"

"Ready when you are, Dad," Jenny replied.

"Juliet! Wait up!"

Juliet turned to see Tara coming down the steps towards her. The Doctor smiled and waved.

"Good morning," he said.

"Morning, Doctor," she replied.

Jenny waved and went inside the house to greet everyone else.

"I'm gonna be gone for a bit. The wife and I are taking Jenny to the twelvth moon of Apocrypha for a little holiday. Rose and Alan are taking the kids to a funfair in London and Madison is taking Dorothy to the Nova Children's Museum, so everyone will be gone for a bit but we should be back later on if you need us."

"Okay but what about Tara," she said as Tara came up beside her.

"The other husband is getting her today."

Tara laughed when the Doctor grabbed his throat with his hands and mimed gagging.

"Only joking, but that's where she's headed to."

"Wanna come with us? We're going to see the purple waterfalls in this nature preserve and then we're gonna go get something to eat."

"Baby, I don't wanna be a bother if that's your time with your father," she said.

"You won't be a bother. Come and see them. You're a Time Lady now so you oughta get used to traveling in the TARDIS. Come on!"

"It's useless to resist her, trust me," the Doctor said.

Tara took her hand and the Doctor waved before he went back inside. Juliet turned and walked with Tara, excited about the new life she had and the traveling that she would be doing from now on.

THE END.


End file.
